Stephanie Watches Twin Peaks: Season 3 Part 16


No knock. No doorbell.

BobCoper and Richard follow one of the two sets of coordinates BobCooper has received and drive there together. BobCooper received two matching coordinates and one different one, so he’s testing the two that match first — and using Richard as his guinea pig. While they don’t speak, I assume they had some road trip bonding time before the serious business happened.

Jerry has also emerged from the woods. “People? Dear god!” He’s having a hard time getting those binoculars to work — turn ’em around, buddy!

BobCooper assumes the coordinate spot is on top of a rock and commands Richard to check it out because “I’m 25 years your senior.” Thanks, BobCooper, that’s my new excuse for not wanting to do something. Richard follows the coordinates sensor on top of the rock. Once he’s found the spot, he gets electrocuted and vaporized into a little firework explosion. “Oh. Goodbye, my son.” Good riddance to bad garbage.

So, those coordinates were a trap and we get the confirmation that BobCooper is indeed Richard’s father, which confirms an awful suspicion we all had about how Richard was conceived. Ugh, poor Audrey.

BobCooper texts “: – ) ALL” to an unknown recipient…

Las Vegas

Chantal and Hutch arrive on Dougie’s block, waiting for him to get home so they can take him out. But the Las Vegas FBI arrive looking for him too. Unfortunately for those looking for him — but fortunately for the Joneses — Dougie is in a coma after sticking that fork in the electrical socket. Chantal and Hutch continue snacking while some of the FBI heads to Lucky 7 Insurance to find him and incompetent Wilson remains behind to watch Dougie’s house.

Janey-E, Sonny Jim, and Bushnell sit at his bedside while the Mitchum Brothers (and Candie, Sandie, and Mandie) arrive to bring treats and flowers for Dougie. Besides bringing food for them at the hospital, they offer to stock Dougie’s house full of treats.

…Meanwhile, Gordon Cole is listening to machines beeping and whirring in his hotel room. Perhaps his hearing aids give him a different sort of enhancement than we thought all along…

Chantal is cranky because she’s on her last bag of snacks and she hasn’t tortured anyone in a while. “It’s the last fucking bag, Hutch!” They watch as the Mitchum Brothers & Co. pull up in a stretch limo and bring a ton of boxes into Dougie’s house. “It’s like a fucking circus parade.” Cue the conga line!

Another car pulls up and a man gets out, demanding that Chantal and Hutch move because they’re in his driveway. They refuse to move. “I move car,” he decides. So, he rams into their van and tries to push it back. Chantal gets her gun out and shoots at him. But he’s got a G18 machine pistol and shoots her in the shoulder. As they attempt to drive away, he unloads on them. Chantal and Hutch are annihilated inside the van. A fitting Tarantino end for these Tarantino actors. And the FBI does absolutely nothing until it’s all over and arrest him.

The Mitchum Brothers come out to see what all the fuss is about before collecting the girls and getting the hell out of there. “What the fuck kind of neighborhood is this?”


In the hospital, the same strange whirring we’ve been hearing inside the Great Northern sounds throughout Dougie’s room, leading Bushnell out of the room. Now that Dougie’s alone, The One-Armed Man appears to him. Cooper sits up…

You are awake.”
“One hundred percent.”


Cooper learns that his doppelganger is still out there, so the One-Armed Man gives him the ring. He knows what to do when he finds him. Before he goes, Cooper asks if he has the seed. The Dougie seed. He yanks out a bunch of his own hair and hands it to him, asking him to “make another one.” He wants to create a new Dougie tulpa so that Janey-E and Sonny Jim aren’t without their Dougie. And hopefully, since this Dougie will be created from Cooper rather than his doppelganger, he won’t be a lecherous, cheating, gambling slimeball.

Janey-E and Sonny Jim return to the room and hug him when they see he’s awake. They’re all a bit confused because he’s suddenly so commanding and sure of himself. (Fun fact: Cooper’s doctor played a clerk in the Great Northern in the original series.) “Dad sure is talking a lot.”

As Cooper gets dressed, he asks Bushnell for his gun and he hands it over very willingly. He gets the Mitchum Brothers on the phone and asks them to wait for him at the casino lobby and get a plane ready to go to Spokane, Washington. “Girls, let’s go for a plane ride.” Yassssss.

“Falling” by Julee Cruise starts playing as Cooper gives Bushnell more instructions… and then I was just openly weeping at this point. I didn’t realize how much I missed Dale Cooper until this moment because I loved Dougie so much. But oh man, is it so nice to have Dale back. It’s like wrapping a comfy, reassuring blanket around yourself while sipping a cup of damn fine coffee. He’s just such a purely good character that I suddenly felt so safe and that everything in the show would turn out alright again.

I have a feeling a man named Gordon Cole will call here. If he does, read him this message. You’re a fine man, Bushnell Mullins. I will not soon forget your kindness and decency.
What about the FBI?
I am the FBI.”

Cooper drives (which is surprising enough for Janey-E who spent the last couple weeks forcing him into the car and opening the door for him) his family to the casino to meet the Mitchum Brothers. Before Cooper can leave, he has a private moment with Janey-E and Sonny Jim. “I wanted to tell you how much I’ve enjoyed spending time with both of you. You’ve made my heart so full. We’re a family. Dougie — I mean, I will be back.” Janey-E finally catches on that he’s not the real Dougie. She doesn’t really understand but she accepts it.


I’m your dad. And I love you. I love you both. You’ll see me soon. I’ll walk through that red door, and I’ll be home for good.”

This scene was so wonderful and added five years to my life. He’s made a good Dougie so that these two people he’s grown very attached to will be well taken care of. He knows this isn’t his real life. But he did so much good for them to make their lives better while they treated him with such compassion and kindness, even though they didn’t have to. Janey-E and Cooper share one final passionate kiss before he leaves with the Mitchum Brothers and Co. to head to Twin Peaks. Well, the sheriff’s station, to be more precise.

It’s clear that Cooper was present for everything, even if he was trapped in a newborn baby brain. But it should be comforting to know that he was Cooper the whole time, if the cherry pie, coffee, and ninja skills weren’t enough to convince you. And same with Janey-E and Sonny Jim, he knows that these people helped him survive this bizarre life he found himself inhabiting.  The way other people treated him when he couldn’t fend for himself spoke volumes to him about the kind of people they really are, which is why he wants to leave better than he found them.

I am witness to the fact that you both have hearts of gold.”


I really hope the girls go with them all to Twin Peaks. Because I would love to see Candie interact with people. Can you imagine Candie and Lucy meeting? Glorious!

South Dakota

Diane receives a text while sitting at the bar: : – ) ALL

This shakes her to her core. “Oh, Coop. I remember…” She texts the coordinates she memorized from Ruth’s arm but she’s shaking all over. We also see a revolver in her purse and some ominous music playing (the same intro music for BobCooper in part 1) as she heads to Gordon’s room. Is she going to kill Gordon, Albert, and Tammy? This was such a stressful scene because I was waiting for it to happen. And she just kept reaching into her bag. Jeebus.

Anyway, Diane is ready to talk about the night Cooper came to visit her. But she’s very shaken — both from what she’s about to do and from the memory she’s finally recalled:

It was three, maybe four years after I stopped hearing from Cooper. I was still working at the Bureau. One night, no knock, no doorbell, he just walked in. I was standing in my living room. Oh, I was so happy to see him. I held him so close. And we sat on my sofa. Started talking. I just wanted to hear everything about where he’d been and what he’d been doing. He only wanted to know abut what had been going on at the Bureau. It felt like he was grilling me. But I told myself he was just excited to hear about Bureau news. And then he leaned in… He leaned in to kiss me. It only happened once before. But as soon as his lips touched mine… something went wrong. And I felt afraid. And he saw the fear in me. And he smiled. He smiled. And his face… And that’s when it started. He raped me. He raped me. Afterward, he took me somewhere. He took me somewhere like an old gas station…. I’m in the sheriff’s station. I’m in the sheriff’s station. I sent him those coordinates. I’m in the sheriff’s station.. I’m not me. I’m not me.”

Laura Dern knocked this scene out of the park. She’s so raw and emotional and vulnerable here. It was really incredible. And let’s appreciate the fact that even though we know BobCooper raped two women in this series, we never were forced to witness it as a viewer. Instead, Diane was able to tell her story from her perspective as the victim and survivor. (Lookin’ at you, every other show ever.)

Even though those are Diane’s memories, we quickly learn that this is not Diane. She is, like Dougie, a tulpa and BobCooper created her at the Convenience Store. As she reached for her gun to shoot Gordon, Albert unloads on her. And she suddenly whooshes away. “Wow. They’re real. That was a real tulpa.”

Now they know where they have to go: the sheriff’s station.


In the Black Lodge, the One-Armed Man is waiting for Tulpa!Diane. “Someone manufactured you.” We get one final “fuck you” before her body breaks down, leaving the gold seed behind. Did you ever think this would be explained when we saw it happen to Dougie? I bet you didn’t, haha.

Twin Peaks

Audrey and Charlie finally make it to the Roadhouse. I was immediately suspicious of this because I noticed neither of them had their coats on…

Those suspicions were temporarily forgotten when the announcer said: Ladies and gentleman, Audrey’s Dance.


I was already fragile from Cooper being back and hearing “Falling” play, so the moment I heard those familiar beats… I was a goner. The floor clears and Audrey strolls out to the middle, re-creating one of her most memorable scenes when she danced at the Double R Diner. It’s beautiful, nostalgic, and bizarre — a good description of Twin Peaks in general.

But it doesn’t last. A fight interrupts her performance, scaring her out of her trance. She runs back to Charlie and whimpers: Charlie. Get me out of here.

But then we flash away. Audrey is looking at herself in a mirror in a bright white room with electricity crackling around her. And then Audrey’s Dance plays backward over the credits, which is very creepy and unsettling.

We knew something fishy was going on with Audrey. It appears she’s in some sort of Black Lodge type place. I don’t think she’s in a coma or a mental institution because of the mirror and electricity noises. I think, with knowing that Richard is BobCooper’s son, he may have secured her away somewhere.

Let’s put on our tinfoil hats and talk crazy theories I’ve read this week:

-The Roadhouse is some sort of mental construct of Audrey’s and that all these names she’s hearing are other people in the mental institution with her. And the other people in the Roadhouse we don’t recognize are also other patients, and why everyone keeps talking about the “nuthouse.” BUT there’s also James, Shelly, Red, Renee, and Freddie to take into consideration since they do not fit this narrative and have interacted with characters outside the Roadhouse. Unless they’re in the real Roadhouse and the scenes with people we don’t recognize is the mental construct of Audrey. For example, if the fight breaking out was when the guy attacked James, so that reality was being overlayed with Audrey’s perception of it.

-Diane is Naido because Dian(e) spelled backward is Naid(o). We don’t know who Naido is, sure, but surely Gordon, Albert, and Cooper would recognize what she looks like when they went to recruit her. So, I’m going to call bullshit on that. Perhaps she means Cooper’s tape recorder is in the sheriff’s station and it will offer them some clues. Or the real Diane will somehow pop up with everyone else congregating there. Timelines are wonky so we can’t be sure what is happening in a linear timeframe. We do know that Cooper, BobCooper, and Gordon are all heading there around roughly the same time.

-Who is Linda? We’ve only heard her name once and she supposedly lives at Fat Trout Trailer Park. My personal theory is that she might be a child born from Diane and BobCooper since Richard was born out of the rape of Audrey. I’ve also seen a theory that she’s Annie & Cooper’s child. I’m sure we’ll know by the end since we learned all about Richard.

-Everyone is a tulpa. That’s it. Hahahaha. Not my theory, but I think that’s hilarious.

I’m so stoked for the two-part finale but I SO do not want it to end.

Dear David, Lynch & Mark Frost:


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