Welcome to Twin Peaks. My name is Margaret Lanterman. I live in Twin Peaks. I am known as the Log Lady. There is a story behind that. There are many stories in Twin Peaks. Some of them are sad, some funny. Some of them are stories of madness, of violence. Some are ordinary. Yet they all have about them a sense of mystery – the mystery of life. Sometimes, the mystery of death. The mystery of the woods. The woods surrounding Twin Peaks. To introduce this story, let me just say it encompasses the all– it is beyond the “fire,” though few would know that meaning. It is a story of many, but begins with one – and I knew her. The one leading to the many is Laura Palmer. Laura is the one.”
Thank you, Log Lady. Welcome to my #ThrowbackThursday review of the Twin Peaks series! I will hopefully be doing this every Thursday from now until I’m done with the series, so follow along, skip ahead, whatever you want. Also, I’m reviewing this as though watching it for the first time. There will be no spoilers for future episodes. So, if this is your first time, please join in on the fun…and fire walk with me~
We begin our journey to the Pacific Northwest as Pete Martell makes a terrible discovery: “She’s dead. Wrapped in plastic.”
As the police roll in – super foxy Sherriff Harry S. Truman and bumbling, yet adorable Andy – we discover that the dead body belongs to Laura Palmer, a well-known high schooler in the small town of Twin Peaks. Alongside this discovery, we are forced to endure Laura’s mother, Sarah, calling everyone who might know why her daughter wasn’t in her bed this morning. When she finally calls her husband, Leland, who is working alongside Benjamin Horne at the Great Northern Hotel, it’s just as Sherriff Truman is arriving to tell him the grim news. Cue brutal screams and cries from both parents.
The news gradually reaches everyone in town: from Laura’s family to her best friend (Donna) to her boyfriend (Bobby) to her secret boyfriend (James) and to people who really don’t care either way (Audrey).
And then, drumroll…. Special Agent Dale Cooper is called to the scene, because this murder is similar to one he dealt with a year earlier when a woman named Theresa Banks was found murdered with the letter “T” on a piece of paper under her fingernail.
“Diane, 11:30 AM, February 24. Entering the town of Twin Peaks… I’ve never seen so many trees in my life.”
The investigation begins as they find Laura’s diary and a videotape of her and Donna having a picnic. The video shows the reflection of a motorcycle. So, they begin questioning everyone close to her, mainly Bobby and James. Both of them are clearly too stupid or too doofy to have anything to do with the murders, but they remain suspects all the same.
Bobby is way too busy having an affair with cutie Double R Diner waitress Shelly to have any reason for killing Laura. But, of course, he can’t discuss this because Shelly is actually married and her hubby Leo is one of the worst human’s ever (with THE WORST hair ever), who would more than likely kill Shelly instead of Bobby over the affair. So, aw, he’s protecting her. Kind of.
James is clearly in love with Laura, but couldn’t talk about it because Bobby is her boyfriend. But Bobby doesn’t really care, James. Side note: Doesn’t James have the most intense forehead of any human ever? I hope you enjoy looking at that brooding thing because you’re going to keep seeing it. This is his main expression.
And what’s worse is that James suddenly becomes all conflicted as he and Donna mourn over Laura together. And then they just start MAKING OUT in the woods together! Jeez, guys, wait until she’s in the ground or until her body is COLD even. But now they have a secret necklace to hide and make out some more.
Meanwhile, my boo Coop is finding some more clues. Another girl named Ronnette Pulaski comes into play, who they think may have been present at the time of Laura’s murder. But she is way too effed up from whatever happened to her to be any help. He looks under her fingernails for the familiar clue but finds nothing. On Laura’s body, however, he finds a small slip of paper with the letter “R.”
Thanks to this clue, Coop decides to stick around and begin his official FBI investigation.
“Diane, it’s 12:28 am, looks like I’ll be staying locally at the Great Northern hotel.”
A couple other notable relationships that pop up along the way: Big Ed Hurley of BIG ED’S GAS FARM (I love this name) is having an affair with Double R Diner owner Norma Jennings. She’s married to a guy named Hank, who is currently serving time in prison for manslaughter. Big Ed is married to Nadine Hurley, who’s a little cooky, but means well. She’s obsessed with DRAPE RUNNERS.
Sherriff Truman is seeing Josie Packard, owner of the Packard Sawmill. Her hubby Andrew Packard died in a boating accident, so she inherited the mill, much to the chagrin of Catherine Martell. Anyhoo, she’s dating Sherriff Truman, who is the sweetest dude in Twin Peaks pretty much. (I have a super crush on him tbh.)
We end with Sarah Palmer having a horrible vision. Tune in next week for episode 2!
Random observations as I watched:
- That goddamn ceiling fan…
- First overbearing redness: Bobby’s family kitchen when Sarah Palmer calls. Also, the red stripes throughout the school hallways.
- Audrey’s saddle shoes FTW.
- Random chick screaming and running through the school grounds after presumably hearing about Laura. Why do you care about Laura so much?
- Waitress Heidi appearance!
- “Norma, I’ll see you in my dreams.”
“Not if I see you first.”
- THE DRAPE RUNNERS, ED!!! ED!!!!
- Why is the morgue lighting so shitty? Spring for some non-flashy bulbs, ya’ll.
- “Diane, I’m holding in my hand a small box of chocolate bunnies.”
- The beginning of the Lucy/Andy OTP. Andy seems like the kind of guy that would take her last name if they got married. They’re just adorable.
- Sup Donna’s sister, Harriet, who I don’t think we ever see again.
- ~Performance by Julee Cruise at the biker bar~ I flippin’ love this song.
- Ed is pretty foxy tbh. I wouldn’t be mad if he got in a fight for me…even if he got knocked out immediately. Oops.
- Dale Cooper & Sherriff Truman for True Detective Season 3.
- James/Donna be making out before Laura Palmer’s body is even cold.
- The amount of donuts on the table at the police station is awe inspiring.
- Ominous red swinging traffic light.
- Extra scene from the international version: Lucy in a shiny dress playing with a paddle board and Andy in a brown suit playing trumpet in their apartment. So random.