Stephanie Watches Orphan Black: 5.06 “Manacled Slim Wrists”


Krystal is back — FINALLY! She’s got a friend this time — and a beauty vlog with more than 50,000 subscribers! Omg! But while celebrating their vlog success, they discover poor Brie’s hair is falling out. What’s the culprit in Krystal’s opinion?

She’s been poisoned. By Big Cosmetics! What about that is confusing?”

So, she goes to Art and Scott for help in taking down Big Cosmetics. But unbeknownst to Krystal, she’s stumbled across something real. As per usual. Art reaches out to Sarah for help in this. Krystal really doesn’t like Sarah and Brie doesn’t seem surprised to see another person that looks like Krystal. But she probably has those same blinders are Krystal and doesn’t even notice Sarah looks the same.

“Is she actually necessary because she’s SO rude! Every single time.”

Krystal has a contact named Leonard Sipp, who is the CEO of Bluezone Cosmetics. Len Sipp recently sold his company to a DYAD subsidiary the previous week. So, hey, Krystal is onto something!

“Did Krystal just fall ass backwards into something big again?”

They want to set a meeting up with Krystal’s ‘deep throat’ (“So what my deep throat is totally hot, get over it.”) with Sarah as Krystal. S and Art don’t think that’s a good idea and neither does Krystal.

You and that Australian girl are gonna mess the whole thing up.”

Krystal sneaks away as Brie seduces Scott with stripping and flirting so she can do her own plan. She puts on a sexy, slinky dress as Art and Sarah watch from the car outside on a surveillance set to coach her. Sarah, of course, has dressed up as Krystal but we don’t even get to see the outfit she put together. I’m so curious!


Len shows up — and it’s Tatiana’s real life boyfriend, Tom Cullen! Yay! (After seeing them in The Other Half together, I was super excited since that was both of them in super duper serious, emotional roles… and this is definitely not that.) Krystal gets a bit distracted and starts making out with him hardcore. Who can blame her? He’s very good looking. Art and Sarah try to steer her back on track. She blurts out that he sold his company to DYAD and tries to get even more information out of him.

He is such a liar. He doesn’t even like my vlog.”

With the help of Scott getting some information from Brie, Sarah and Art relay that Brie stole some experimental cream from Len’s party and that’s why her hair was falling out. Len finds it in Brie’s cosmetics bag and confronts Krystal. He calls her stupid — so she kicks him in the balls. She puts those personal training sessions to good use. Since the cream is a dermal application, Sarah wonders if they’re planning on putting LIN-28A (the mutation in Kira that heals her) in it but all it does right now is make hair fall out. So, Krystal rubs it ALL OVER HIS BEARD. You go, girl.

The Island

Cosima is still trapped in the dead dude’s cage. Mud won’t let her out. PT wants her to rot. Susan wants to get her out because she’s the best mind to develop a cure for Ira.


We find out some other information. PT’s name is John. And that he and Susan got together in 1962. The only other John we know in the Orphan Black universe is Siobhan’s husband, John Saddler. And we all know that Kendall stabbed him and killed him with garden shears. So, I’m going to assume this is not the same person but good grief, who knows. Especially considering Kendall’s ties to the whole messy world. Anyway, PT bought all the resources he needed to begin his Neolution craziness.

With fortune and fiction. That’s how the patriarchy works.”

Such a good line from Susan. Anyway, Coady is now on the island to ruin everyone’s fun. “She is not a Neolutionist. She’s a maniac.” Susan is convinced that PT is losing his grip and will destroy everything. But Ira wants to know if Coady has the cure. He just wants to learn more about himself. Susan slaps him for that and he starts glitching again. My poor Ira. He volunteers to get close to Coady for information — but it’s clear he just wants to know more about himself. He was raised under Leda not Castor — and Susan’s purpose was to find a cure for Leda and potentially continue cloning. While she obviously cares for Ira, she didn’t direct her science to serve or save him.

As Ira meets with Coady, she claims she’s close to a cure for Castor. Ira also discovers that PT is draining blood from children and transfusing it back into himself in an attempt to stay young — parabiosis. “He’ll do anything to extend his pitiful life,” Susan says in disgust. But this gives her an idea.

Aisha, the little girl with cancer that was supposedly getting better, dies suddenly. Mud tells Cosima, who is horrified and STILL LOCKED UP. Ugh. Ira comes to try and convince Mud to tell them about PT’s parabiosis treatment — another thing that horrifies Cosima. (My poor baby is locked up and can’t do anything! Ugh!) But Mud refuses to betray PT because he saved her from junkie life and blahdeyblahblah. I really dislike Mud and do not want to waste another second on her story.

Susan comes to help with PT’s latest transfusion and adds poison into his bag. But Mud notices. And tells on her. Because she sucks. I’ve disliked her from her first moment on screen and will continue to do so! This brings Coady to PT’s rescue… and Susan’s unfortunate end. While he believes Susan is busy killing PT, Ira gets Cosima out of the cage. But he’s glitching hardcore at this point. His right arm is useless. He’s walking with a limp.

Don’t worry, we’ll all get off the island together.”

Ira has to get Susan to the boathouse and gives Cosima an envelope. She goes to get the cure and Charlotte but all the island people are trying to hold her back. “Just let me leave with my sister!” This island is the worst. Cosima, you really should have gone back with Sarah in the beginning. She drops the bomb that PT is a big fat old liar. He’s not 170, the Fountain isn’t real, and she has the picture to prove it. Thankfully, they relent and let her go.

Cosima takes Charlotte and rushes to the boathouse as the village people burn everything down. “This is something you don’t know about me. I grew up on boats. We’ve got a compass and charts and extra gas. And it’s really calm tonight.” They keep waiting for Susan and Ira to show but… they both know they aren’t coming.

Ira goes to find Susan… Instead, he finds her dead in her wheelchair in the greenhouse. His nose is bleeding, he’s glitching badly… He falls to his knees in front of her and dies with his head on her lap. This hurts me deeply. I love Ira a lot. He was my favorite Castor.


Cosima and Charlotte decide they have to leave without them and ride away from that terrible island.

Meanwhile, Rachel picks Kira up for her “sleep study” at DYAD. Kira had pretended to be sick but PT ordered Rachel to go get her. I really disliked how quickly she stood to attention and took orders from him. Something is definitely up with Rachel. This isn’t the Rachel we all know. Is PT watching through her eye? Is he controlling her somehow? I believe all those questions will be answered in the next episode. I just hope that we don’t lose Rachel in the process.

Rachel, look at me. There will come a day when you need us.”

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