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Stephanie Watches Orphan Black: 5.05 “Ease for Idle Millionaires”

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Defy them. Live your life with every ounce of passion that I know you have. Then, they will never own you.”

This is our Cosima-centric episode as we delve into her reason for fighting. We get a flashback from the season 1 finale when she discovered that she was intellectual property. And it’s a really beautiful moment between her and Delphine. They smooch and cry and it’s very cute. Another very large aspect of this episode is rectifying Delphine’s intent. I guess people still had questions about Delphine’s motives or if she was still truly helping Cosima since she’d been hanging out at Revival with PT for months without Cosima knowing she was actually alive. I get that (because the Leekie stuff and the constant lying was very icky and I definitely don’t condone it nor do I think Big D is some magical saint) but girlfriend took a bullet from Duko for what she knew, so to me it’s silly to still be questioning it all.

Anyway, Delphine is back from her trip and invited to a fancy dinner with PT, Rachel, and Susan. Truly a family affair held by all! But she checks in with Cosima first, who’s been busy with her own digging into the feral creature and the little Iranian girl’s miraculous healing. Delphine is stressed out because Cosima is digging too much and pushing too hard for information, which could jeopardize everything she’s doing with Siobhan. Of course, Cosima can’t know any of that. Ugh! But Cosima starts connecting more and more dots and gets herself an invite to the dinner at the mansion.

The Messenger insists Delphine and Cosima dress up for PT (ugh, gross) with a selection of terrible off-white dresses. To that, Cosima says: “Frock that.” And puts on a tuxedo and is extremely adorable in it. While I don’t think it’s particularly her style, I think her style is definitely saying fuck you to the patriarchy and gender stereotypes.

Meanwhile, back in Toronto, Sarah and Kira are finally bonding. She’s agreed to tell Kira everything that’s going on in their bizarre world if Kira will teach her everything she knows about her connection to her and the other Ledas. So, she develops code names for the sestras (Cosima: Sunfish, Helena: Shark, Rachel: Elephant) and teaches Kira some hustling techniques. Kira wants to gain Rachel’s trust by figuring out what she knows and then exploiting that. Like mother, like daughter.

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At the dinner party, Cosima has zero fucks left to give. She’s so done with PT and his bullshit after seeing Delphine walk in on his arm. She’s just drinking wine and joking, driving Delphine to peak amused exasperation. But PT asks Cosima how her parents are and we get a little bit of backstory. Her parents, Sally and Gene (or Jean? Although Gene is funnier given the gene-theme of the show) are both professors living on a houseboat. They think Cosima is studying away at the University of Minnesota. She hasn’t spoken to them in months. They don’t even know she’s sick because she can’t tell them anything because then she’d have to tell them everything. She’s content to know they’re happily in love and assuming she’s fine.

Also, Cosima and Delphine learn that PT and Rachel are using Kira because they’ve isolated a mutation in her genome – the one that gives her the ability to heal. They believe this is their so-called Fountain of Youth.

When experimenting on the boy (Yanis) that turned into the feral creature hurting people in the woods, they found he had remarkable healing properties. So, Susan synthesized that aspect of his gene and applied it to the Leda genome to see if accelerated healing would manifest in them. But it skipped them and instead manifested in Kira and Helena’s babies. And so, Rachel wants to know if Kira’s trait is hereditary and to harvest her eggs to put them in the 1,300 surrogates she has ready, willing, and waiting.

Cosima is understandably outraged because these babies would be Kira’s children and Sarah’s grandchildren. But Susan is at a loss. She can only steer PT and Rachel and mitigate the resulting damage rather than stopping them. Well, Cosima wants to stop them before it even starts.

However, Delphine’s visit is cut short. PT is sending her to Geneva for a mission, but really Delphine is meeting up with Felix and Adele who are following the Neolution money. Cosima is mad because Delphine told PT she was snooping in the basement but Delphine assures her that she only told him to protect Cosima. Delphine must remain working in the shadows and keeping things from Cosima for her protection while Cosima prefers to uncover things out in the open, much to her own peril. So, she gives Cosima the choice: to accept that this is the way things must be until they figure it all out or end it again. Cosima kisses Delphine, accepting that she has to trust what Delphine is doing for her in the dark with the others.

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This is what he does. He divides women.”

When confronting PT, Cosima discovers that Yanis’s main purpose was to extend PT’s life. And now PT is finally dying, so he’s seeking a new source in Kira. But seeing how damaged and feral Yanis has become, she obviously doesn’t want that to happen to Kira. PT puts a gun in her hand so she can put Yanis out of his misery. But she refuses.

You gave me life, I know you can take that away. You can’t take away my humanity.”

As she’s trying to comfort Yanis, PT shoots him in the head. Hey, for real, why do people have to keep horribly murdering people in front of Cosima? I cannot deal with this shit. But PT is a huge dick and locks Cosima in Yanis’s cell with his dead body. COOL. GREAT.

Also, Ira is glitching and that deeply upset me. I don’t even really care about Castor but I’ve grown weirdly attached to Ira for some reason. Help.

Delphine meets with Siobhan on her way to Grealisingeavling that S has her own Deep Throat that’s feeding her information through both Delphine and Hellwizard. So, S has both Delphine and an anonymous source. The overly hopeful part of my heart says her DT is Cal. Pretty please, show? I doubt it would be Ferdinand after what he did. It could be Ira since he’s literally in the hornest’s nest. But he seems pretty oblivious. But let’s just hope it’s Cal. He’s in the know. He’s a hackerman. Honestly, who else could it be!?

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