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    Stephanie Watches Twin Peaks: Season 3 Part 9

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    This is the chair.

    A very bloody BobCooper is alive and well after his soot men helpers brought him back to life. He makes it to the farm to the meet up with his comrades, Hutch (Tim Roth) and Chantal (Jennifer Jason Leigh). Isn’t that a nice Hateful Eight reunion? All we need is some Kurt Russel. BobCooper is kind of Kurt Russel-ey anyway, so it works. He uses a bedazzled flip phone to call Duncan (Patrick Fischler) in Las Vegas to check in on Dougie’s demise, as well as text “around the dinner table, the conversation is lively” to an unknown recipient. BobCooper tells Hutch and Chantal to kill Warden Murphy and prepare for a doubleheader in Las Vegas. So, I assume he’s ordering them to kill Dougie and Janey-E. Ha! Good luck going after Janey-E. She will destroy you all before you can even blink.

    Las Vegas

    In Las Vegas, Cooper and Janey-E are at the police station, as well as Dougie’s boss. He’s being interrogated about Dougie’s personality and explains that he’s always been a little off because he was in a car accident several years ago. Sometimes he just has some bad days, which explains how everyone has been conveniently excusing his super bizarre behavior. He’s also squeezing his hand similarly to Lil in FWWM. Not sure if that’s intentional or if it could just be a hand gesture leftover from his boxing days. The goofy Three Stooges-esque cops find out Dougie’s existence only goes back to 1997. So, I guess that’s when BOB manufactured him.

    It’s like talkin’ to a dog.”
    “And she does all the barking.”

    The cops get Cooper’s fingerprints from his coffee mug while he fixates on various objects in the waiting room: the American flag, the wall outlet, and a woman walking by in red high heels. Could this be a latent Audrey-related memory? Will Audrey be his final trigger into regular Cooper? Maybe, but I don’t think anything is that simple in this world. And I still believe he’ll be in his Dougie state until BOB is back where he belongs in the Black Lodge.

    The cops track down Ike the Spike, who’s planning to take some medical leave after his failed assassination attempt. Poor dude. Before he can make his getaway, all the cops show up. I enjoy his sad, defeated sigh as he holds up his comically bandaged hand.

    Buckhorn, SD

    Gordon hears about Briggs body from Ernie Hudson (so that’s who he was calling!) and, with Diane’s reluctant acceptance, (“Fuck you, Gordon, I wanna go home.”) makes a pit stop to Buckhorn, SD to check it out. She relents only because it’s a Blue Rose case. He also gets the news that Cooper has flown the coop.

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    While waiting around at the morgue and smoking against their permission (“It’s a fucking morgue!”), Diane receives a text: AROUND THE DINNER TABLE, THE CONVERSATION IS LIVELY. While this is obviously a message from BobCooper, I don’t think he is the one that sent it. If you want to get real insane about it like me, his text message was lowercase while this one was in all caps. But still, why is he contacting Diane? What happened the last time they met!? I have so many Diane questions. But I don’t think she has any nefarious intent. I think she just wants to find Cooper. The real Cooper. And perhaps she has her own way of doing it.

    As they look at the body of what could be Briggs, the age discrepancy is also confusing to Gordon and Albert. Briggs should have died 25 years ago in a fire at the age of this dead body but if this is Briggs, he should be in his 70s. Gordon reasons that he had contact with Cooper 25 years ago, and now, “Cooper” is showing up in this neck of the woods. The woman performing the autopsy (and who seems to have taken a liking to Albert and vice versa with their twisted humor) also reports that they found a ring inside Briggs’s body: “To Dougie, Love Janey-E.” Yes! Let’s connect these pieces! We’re getting so close to everyone meeting up! For those who doubted, I am surprised these pieces are connecting already and we still have nine more parts to go.

    Tammy interrogates poor, distraught Bill Hastings (Matthew Lillard) because he created a conspiracy blog about what we know as the Lodge but he calls the “Zone.” And before Ruth was murdered, his last entry said: “Today, we finally entered what we call the Zone. And we met the Major.” That is obviously very intriguing.

    Bill has even more pieces of the puzzle but they need to find out if he really did have contact with Major Briggs. If he does, that lends credence to the Lodges being real. And to the fact that Cooper might not be Cooper. Bill says the Major was hiding in the Zone and asked him and Ruth to get him some coordinates. Ruth and Bill brought him the coordinates but they were attacked by a bunch of people who killed Ruth. Tammy asks Bill to identify the Major in a lineup of six photos and he correctly points out Major Briggs.

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    Stephanie Watches Orphan Black: 5.05 “Ease for Idle Millionaires”

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    Defy them. Live your life with every ounce of passion that I know you have. Then, they will never own you.”

    This is our Cosima-centric episode as we delve into her reason for fighting. We get a flashback from the season 1 finale when she discovered that she was intellectual property. And it’s a really beautiful moment between her and Delphine. They smooch and cry and it’s very cute. Another very large aspect of this episode is rectifying Delphine’s intent. I guess people still had questions about Delphine’s motives or if she was still truly helping Cosima since she’d been hanging out at Revival with PT for months without Cosima knowing she was actually alive. I get that (because the Leekie stuff and the constant lying was very icky and I definitely don’t condone it nor do I think Big D is some magical saint) but girlfriend took a bullet from Duko for what she knew, so to me it’s silly to still be questioning it all.

    Anyway, Delphine is back from her trip and invited to a fancy dinner with PT, Rachel, and Susan. Truly a family affair held by all! But she checks in with Cosima first, who’s been busy with her own digging into the feral creature and the little Iranian girl’s miraculous healing. Delphine is stressed out because Cosima is digging too much and pushing too hard for information, which could jeopardize everything she’s doing with Siobhan. Of course, Cosima can’t know any of that. Ugh! But Cosima starts connecting more and more dots and gets herself an invite to the dinner at the mansion.

    The Messenger insists Delphine and Cosima dress up for PT (ugh, gross) with a selection of terrible off-white dresses. To that, Cosima says: “Frock that.” And puts on a tuxedo and is extremely adorable in it. While I don’t think it’s particularly her style, I think her style is definitely saying fuck you to the patriarchy and gender stereotypes.

    Meanwhile, back in Toronto, Sarah and Kira are finally bonding. She’s agreed to tell Kira everything that’s going on in their bizarre world if Kira will teach her everything she knows about her connection to her and the other Ledas. So, she develops code names for the sestras (Cosima: Sunfish, Helena: Shark, Rachel: Elephant) and teaches Kira some hustling techniques. Kira wants to gain Rachel’s trust by figuring out what she knows and then exploiting that. Like mother, like daughter.

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    Stephanie Watches Orphan Black: 5.04 “Let the Children and Childbearers Toll”

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    Sarah is still desperate to get to the bottom of what Rachel is doing to Kira. Even if she appears to be helping her daughter, Sarah obviously doesn’t trust what she might do with the knowledge and samples she’s taking from her. And just when it appears that she and her daughter have reconciled with a cute hug (“I’m gonna munch you”), she finds that Kira has cut a big gash in her arm to test how quickly she will heal.

    S is trying once again to diffuse the situation. She’s just as alarmed as Sarah but needs her to focus on finding more information about Westmoreland because that will ultimately help Kira and reveal his and Rachel’s goals with Kira. She sends Kira to stay with Felix while she and Sarah go on a mission. Kira and Felix have some bonding time where he draws her portrait and they eat pizza. Kira redeemed herself a bit from 5.02 since she was so adorably acting like a grumpy Sarah. It was super cute. Later on, Felix’s bio sis Adele appears. S apparently told her everything because she and Felix have their own mission. They’ll be going to Switzerland to follow the Neolution corporate money.

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    You were casing the joint.”
    “So were you. Birds of a feather.”

    Meanwhile, the Sarah/S mission filled me with such glee. Sarah and S spent the first couple seasons so at odds with each other so to see them working together, doing a con together, and drinking together was so lovely. Their mark is drinking at a bar in a train station. She’s scheduled to appear at a psychiatric facility where S (thanks to her source a.k.a. Delphine) knows a high-level Neo is being imprisoned. As soon as Sarah gets wind that the woman has an issue with her daughter, she plays her part perfectly, even throwing her bourbon in S’s face before stealing the woman’s wallet while she’s distracted helping S.

    With her ID secured, the con team head to the facility. But since they have some time, Sarah insists they make a stop at a convent. My friend can attest to me jumping up and down and clapping when I realized we were already getting a twin reunion. For some reason, I thought Helena had gone all the way back to the Ukraine, so I was happy to see her happy and comfortable in a local convent, cared for by a nun that cared for her when she was a child.

    There is so much delight in this scene. The twins haven’t shared a screen in the longest time but they’re one of my favorite bonds. They have such a beautiful heart-to-heart that ends far too soon. Helena comforts her about Kira but that she’s found peace with her sestras. Still, she offers to kill Rachel and Westmoreland if Sarah wants it. But Sarah wants her to take care of her miracle babies. “Just like us.”

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    Kira feels it too. She feels all of us. But I didn’t until I was half dead on that island. She flowed right through me, picked me up. Is that what it is? Is that what it feels like?”
    “Yes. Here. Here.”

    After their reunion, S emerges dressed like a hot professor. She and Sarah play their parts. S as Dr. Perkins, Sarah as her assistant. And by playing dumb, they gain entrance to the facility. But the high-level Neo is actually… Virginia Coady. Sarah is not happy to see her since her last encounter, Coady was filling her with Castor blood to see if she’d be sterilized like the other woman. Not to mention, she’s the reason she lost Paul. She gets in a couple hits and S convinces Coady to divulge some information…

    This season seems to be all about putting the pieces of the Neolution/Westmoreland puzzle together. And in this episode, we got a few more pieces but there’s still a lot of unanswered questions. We learned that the feral creature that attacked Sarah in the woods is actually part of a failed experiment pre-cloning, thanks to both Cosima’s snooping and Coady’s explanation. A boy that Westmoreland found with a genetic anomaly he, Susan, and Virginia Coady all attempted to exploit. But it all went terribly wrong. They went too far and the boy began to develop tumors and other physical deformities. Susan wanted to stop, while Coady wanted to keep going, not caring about the repercussions. To keep the peace for his two women once Kendall Malone was found, Westmoreland separated them. Susan was put in charge of Leda; Virginia, Castor. All in an attempt to further the science.

    Oh yeah, Susan is alive and well thanks to Westmoreland. She’s been reunited with Ira. And she agrees to work with Westmoreland to ensure the science does not go too far but also to protect herself and Ira. But he ensures she knows that Rachel is in charge now. Who knows what anyone’s true intentions are here.

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    “To the future.”