A log is a portion of a tree. At the end of a crosscut log – many of you know this – there are rings. Each ring represents one year in the life of the tree. How long it takes to a grow a tree! I don’t mind telling you some things. Many things I… I mustn’t say. Just notice that my fireplace is boarded up. There will never be a fire there. On the mantelpiece, in that jar, are some of the ashes of my husband. My log hears things I cannot hear. But my log tells me about the sounds, about the new words. Even though it has stopped growing larger, my log is aware.”
Leo finds the key to his shackles and frees himself and Major Briggs. He tells Briggs to save Shelly. Oh, NOW you care about her. *eyeroll*
Cooper reveals to Harry what he saw when Josie died. He tells him he saw BOB and that he thinks BOB comes from the Black Lodge. That he’s the evil in the woods. Cooper wants to find his way in before Windom Earle does.
“It’s fear, Leo, that’s the key! My favorite emotional state!” Windom knows where the entrance is, he knows when the time is right, now he just needs the key: fear. “I haven’t been this excited since I punctured Caroline’s aorta.” Windom punishes Leo for setting Briggs free by tying his tooth to a cage holding several tarantulas. I mean, they probably wouldn’t bite him? What’s the big deal? Just get on outta there, Leo. Or don’t because I have zero sympathy for you after how you treated Shelly. Byeeee!
Meanwhile, preparations continue for the Miss Twin Peaks pageant. Annie and Shelly are trying to win favor with Norma by being super adorable. She is one of the judges (along with Dick and the Mayor). Plus, it’s her 20th anniversary of winning Miss Twin Peaks.
Lana attempts to curry favor with Dick, bringing him to a storage room so she can seduce him. It’s dark in the storage room, which results in some dirty flashlight innuendos like: “I can’t find it.” “Just flick it.” Judging by his noises, I’m assuming she succeeded in her plan.
Lucy chooses Andy to be the father of her baby, no matter what the paternity test will show. Dick doesn’t seem too hurt by this decision after his closet rendezvous with Lana. “Don’t sound so disappointed,” Lucy says bitterly.
Now that she’s no longer a virgin, Audrey is wearing a sexy red dress and contemplating her heartbreak by the fire. Ben convinces her to enter the pageant now so she can make her political mark and help save Ghostwood.
Ed tells Nadine that he and Norma plan on getting married. She appears to be more than happy for him because she and Mike are getting married, too. But as she’s expressing her happiness for Ed, she accidentally squeezes Mike’s hand too hard and various things snap and crack. Oops.
Donna confronts her parents about Ben Horne. Again. Ugh. Donna, we get it! They, once again, tell her nothing so she accosts Ben backstage at the pageant. She finally figures out that Ben is her father and runs away. How that wasn’t immediately obvious to her before, I’ll never know. But this should be good news! Now, she and Audrey are half sisters. I think that’s cool.