Stephanie Reads Twin Peaks: The Final Dossier


    For those that had trouble digesting the very densely packed Secret History of Twin Peaks, The Final Dossier may be more of a fun read. Plus, it’s way shorter.

    While I enjoyed the Secret History, it took me forever to get through it because, frankly, some parts of history are boring. It goes all the way back to Lewis & Clark’s expeditions (maybe even before, it’s been a while) up through the 1990s. But overall, I enjoyed how the Twin Peaks mythos was fit into real-world history. I think it’s well worth reading for Margaret and Carl Rodd’s alien encounter as children, the Packard family history, Ed and Norma’s tragic love affair (that we now know has a very happy ending), and why Josie is THE WORST.

    Both books are fabulously, intricately designed to look like you’re holding files or newspaper clippings, so having the physical copy is well worth the investment. Especially the Secret History.

    While the Secret History focuses more on the origin of the mythology, the Final Dossier focuses on all those Twin Peaks characters we’ve come to know and love over 25+ years. We play catch up with some of them we didn’t get as many details on in the Secret History, learn intricate backstories that we never knew before that may shed light on some things from the original series (especially Norma and Annie) while still leaving us with even more questions as we go over some of the major events of The Return.

    Major spoilers ahead…

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    Stephanie’s 8 Favorite Spoopy Movies


    Poltergeist (1982): This will forever remain my favorite scary movie of all time. I remember my mom didn’t want to show it to me when I was too young because I looked a lot like Carol Anne. It didn’t matter, I was still afraid I’d get sucked into the TV. Or that my closet would eat me in the middle of the night. I still get creeped out when I forget to turn the light off in the closet and close the door. I just love how this movie slowly builds on the creepiness through things moving about on their to complete and utter insanity. And just when you think the house is “clean,” shit gets even CRAZIER. It’s just so fun and creepy. It’s a must-watch movie for me every October.

    The Craft: How do I even begin to explain how much I love The Craft? I think it was one of the most formative movies of my pre-teen and teen years. I related to these girls, going to a co-ed Catholic high school and having a couple close girlfriends who I definitely tried “light as a feather, stiff as a board” with during sleepovers. (I think most girls did this, yes?) Thankfully, I also had a mom who enabled my obsession with this movie and took me to the local “New Age” store so we could get incense, candles, stones, books, etc. And even now, I think that movie has influenced my wardrobe, makeup, and jewelry choices. If you knew me in middle/high school, then you totally get it.

    ANYWAY, the movie is the ultimate girl power movie. To put it as simply as possible, four girls who have some subtle magic powers team up as friends and cast spells on the men that have wronged them. The spells aren’t hokey. Everything is based on real mythology and principles. And obviously, while the results are exaggerated, it feels real. It turns into a true horror movie for the last 15 minutes. The soundtrack is one of the best movie soundtracks ever, and I still listen to it regularly. There’s no movie like it and no movie that resonates so strongly with me still today.

    The Witch: “Wouldst thou like to live deliciously?” I like to call this movie my origin story. (It doesn’t help that one of my friends is convinced the main girl looks like me, ha!) This is a great psychological thriller that builds a quiet terror throughout an isolated family in 1630 New England — a few decades before the great witch panic of Salem. What happens when a witch in the woods steals a baby and terrorizes a family from afar by slowly driving them all insane? The teen girl is to blame, of course. There are some haunting images throughout this film and the final scene is… perfection.

    The Strangers: I have a fascination with home invasion movies and this one takes the cake. Why do so many people insist on living in remote places so far from civilization!? Sure, it’s peaceful but there are so many crazy, murdery people out there! This one is horrifying because it seems all too plausible. There’s no rhyme or reason for the violence done to the couple. It’s done simply “because you were home.” *shudder*

    10 Cloverfield Lane: What happens when you crash your car and you’re locked in an undergrounder bunker with a man who may or may not be an insane homicidal maniac? I love, love this movie. And I love Mary Elizabeth Winstead. If you can’t tell, I tend to love horror/creepy movies that aren’t blatant about it being a horror movie. We really don’t know what‘s going on in this one. Is there really an apocalypse happening outside? Or is this man just completely batshit crazy? Does he want to murder the others or does he just want some companionship? Go watch it because it’s so, so good.

    Alien: This is classic horror at its best. I hope you’ve seen it. If not, you need to correct that immediately. What’s better than Sigourney Weaver being the ultimate badass while looking super foxy. An alien slowly and gruesomely taking out a ragtag crew trapped on a spaceship. A cat, which survives the whole film. It’s perfect.

    Get Out: Jordan Peele (of Key & Peele) created one of the most harrowing horror movies of the modern era. It plays on the discomfort of white families attempting to welcome their daughter’s new black suitor. They overcompensate by talking about Obama and attempting to prove they’re not racist because of all their black friends! They seem awkward but well-intentioned. But as the family getaway progresses, things prove to be more and more alarming. It’s uncomfortable, gruesome, hilarious at times (because it’s written by Peele), and psychologically crazy.

    Cabin in the Woods: I couldn’t make this list without this one! It starts out just like every other horror movie: a group of horny 20-somethings heading to a cabin in the woods for a weekend of drinking and frivolity when suddenly they’re being axe-murdered by zombies. But… we soon learn this is all being orchestrated by a team behind the scenes with a slew of monster-movie tropes at their disposal. It all just depends on which horror the victims “select” in a dark basement full of creepy antiques. The cast is fantastic: Thor (before he was Thor), Fran Kranz from “Dollhouse,” Amy Acker, Jesse Williams, Bradley Whitford, Tom Lenk,  and, of course, Sigourney Weaver.

    Honorable Mentions Because I Couldn’t Decide and Love Spoopy Movies: Trick R Treat, Aliens, The Conjuring, The Ring, Ju On, Hausu, The Descent, It Follows, Paranormal Activity, The Blair Witch Project, The Babadook, Scream, Black Christmas (1974), The Others, The House of the Devil, The Fly, Eraserhead, The Birds, and many, many more!

    What are your favorite spoopy movies?

    Stephanie Watches Twin Peaks: Season 3 Part 18


    What is your name?

    DoppelCooper’s body is on fire in the Black Lodge. He’s gone for good. At least I assume so!

    With the gold pebble and Cooper’s hair, The One-Armed Man uses his e-lec-tricity to make a new Dougie tulpa. That innocent baby is back with us, and I couldn’t be happier! “Where am I!?” Gosh, he’s so cute and so excited to be alive again. He’s sent home to be with his family, just as Cooper promised. Janey-E and Sonny Jim embrace him back in their lives. “Home.” That’s one happy ending. But what about Laura’s?

    Cooper lost her in the woods in 1989 on the night she was supposed to die at BOB’s hands. Or was she taken from him?

    We revisit Cooper in the Black Lodge. And we’re plagued with the same question from The One-Armed Man: Is it future or is it past? They wander through the Black Lodge and visit The Arm. But it has a new question for Cooper:

    Is it the story of the little girl who lived down the lane? Is it?”

    You may recognize those words because Audrey said them. Was she speaking about Laura all this time? Why would she say words spoken by The Arm in the Lodge if she wasn’t also in the Lodge!? EH!?

    Speaking of Laura, she whispers in Cooper’s ear before doing her banshee shriek and floating away like in Part 2. Cooper continues his journey and finds Leland, who has the same message: Find Laura. The soft ringing noise leads Cooper farther into the Lodge. The curtains rustle and open for him. He emerges in the woods of Twin Peaks, where Diane is waiting for him. She did indeed see him at the curtain call. (Unless there is still another curtain call??? Anything is possible, y’all.)


    Cooper and Diane take a drive.

    FIRST: Let’s quickly flash back to the first scene of The Return where the Fireman was sitting opposite Cooper in the White Lodge. He told him: Listen to the sounds… [weird clicking noise that happened when Laura disappeared in part 17] It is in our house now. It all cannot be said aloud now. Remember 430. Richard and Linda. Two birds with one stone.

    And here we are. Cooper and Diane taking a 430-mile drive to a specific location. He gets out of the car and can feel and hear the electricity crackling all around him. Diane is visibly nervous.

    This is the place, all right. Kiss me. Once we cross, it could all be different.”

    They share a nice, passionate smooch and head into the e-lec-tricity. And suddenly, they’re driving down a long, dark road at night in utter silence. They arrive at a motel and while Cooper is getting a room, Diane sees herself standing a few yards ahead. She and her other self stare at each other until Cooper returns. Perhaps this is her old self that she’s leaving behind in this new world. I think at this point Cooper is still himself but I wonder if Diane is losing part of herself.

    This next scene is very… strange, especially when you add the “My Prayer” song on top of it. It’s the same song playing during the ‘Gotta light?’ scenes in part 8, so it already had a disturbing association. Before this, it didn’t seem as though Cooper and Diane had a sexual relationship but perhaps it was a long time coming. She mentioned they’d only kissed once before BOB raped her. She also mentioned that she remembered everything that happened to her. So, perhaps this was Cooper’s way of letting her reclaim some of her sexual agency after whatever BOB did to her using Cooper’s body. She is in complete control of this experience, even covering his face at times. Seeing his face might still be traumatic for her. Or maybe she’s losing her “Diane” self and covering his face because she has no idea who this man really is. Either way, I’m sure Lynch wanted to make us extremely uncomfortable during this part and he succeeded.

    The next morning, Cooper wakes up alone with a note left from Diane: “Dear Richard, When you read this, I’ll be gone. Please don’t try to find me. I don’t recognize you anymore. Whatever it was we had together is over. Linda.”

    Remember Richard and Linda. BOOM. So, we were foiled by Richard Horne and the random trailer park resident Linda all this time! Lynch, you rascal. Anyway, the car Cooper arrived in with Diane is not the same car he takes when he leaves. The one he takes is one of those all black FBI-type vehicles and he seems to already have the keys. Weird. Anyway, Diane may have lost herself and became Linda, but I don’t believe that Cooper has become Richard.

    Cooper drives through Odessa, Texas until he spots a diner: Eat at Judy’s. He stops there for a coffee and asks the waitress if another girl works there. Another girl does but she hasn’t been to work in three days. While he waits, some asshole cowboys harass the waitress and try to feel her up. Cooper defends her and the cowboys try to show off their manliness by threatening Cooper. But he’s about 100000% done with this world/dimension/town, so he shoots one guy in the foot, knees another in the balls, and the other puts his gun down. He puts all the guns in the deep fryer and gets the other waitress’s address before leaving. Shoutout to the old couple who were completely unbothered by the gunfire and kept eating their pancakes.

    I saw some people saying this seemed out of character for Cooper. That he seemed like a blank asshole and maybe he was becoming Richard. Or that he’d lost the “good” part of Cooper when Dougie was created. But I’d suggest you revisit the pilot. Cooper was very harsh and straight-to-business in the very first episode. He took no nonsense from anyone. It wasn’t until he got to know the Twin Peaks folks that he softened up a bit and showed off his goofy side. Plus, this Cooper has been through some shit. He’s trying to save Laura Palmer’s life, and he won’t let anyone stand in his way. That’s not to say this is the “right” Cooper. Something is definitely off. But I wouldn’t say this isn’t our Cooper. Continue reading