Stephanie Watches Twin Peaks: 1×06 “Cooper’s Dreams”


I play my part on my stage. I tell what I can to form the perfect answer. But that answer cannot come before all are ready to hear. So I tell what I can to form the perfect answer. Sometimes my anger at the fire is evident. Sometimes it is not anger, really. It may appear as such, but could it be a clue? The fire I speak of is not a kind fire.”

Cooper is having a terrible time trying to sleep. Some crazy, drunk Incelanders have been singing loudly all night, disturbing him from his much needed rest.

“Diane, it’s 4:29 am. I have just been woken up by the most god-awful racket that you can probably hear over the sound of my voice. Can you hear that? Up until this moment, I’ve experienced nothing at the Great Northern Hotel but the most pleasant, courteous service imaginable. However, it just goes to prove a point that once a traveler leaves his home, he loses almost 100% of his ability to control his environment. Diane, I was wondering if you could overnight express to me two pairs of those Ear Pillow silicone ear plugs, which I used on my last trip to New York. Naturally, I didn’t bring them with me on this trip because I didn’t feel it would be necessary. However….” Cue Icelanders singing more!

Coop heads down early for his coffee, desperately needing it. We’ve all had those days. Audrey saunters over to him, telling him she can help out with the case since she has a job now. But he wards off her advances once again, reminding her that she should probably be in school right about now. Audrey, obviously, will not be deterred. She wants to help Coop, half for Laura because she helped her brother and half to get close to him. Okay, maybe those figures are better broken down as 25/75. Coop is pretty irresistible. I’d be crushin’ too. Heck, I am right now.

She’s so determined to help that she blackmails the guy in charge of her father’s department store after he assigned her to work at the wrapping station.

“Emory, here’s what we’re gonna do. You’re gonna tell my father that I’m busy as a bee wrapping boxes with the drums. Then, you’re gonna put me to work this afternoon behind the perfume counter. Because if you don’t I’m going to rip my dress in half and scream at the top of my lungs and tell my father that you made a pass at me. Does that help to clear things up for you?”

Leland tries to come back to work, but Ben shoos him away. “I feel I need something to occupy my mind.” And then he breaks down again. Ben suggests he take Sarah away somewhere, but Leland says he can’t, he’s afraid. Maybe he doesn’t want to be alone without their daughter for the first time. Ben dismisses him, wanting nothing more than the Leland-shaped thorn in his side to be out of his life for good, but obviously he can’t exactly fire him for dealing with grief. At least not yet.

While investigating Jacques Renault’s apartment, Doc Hayward reports that the blood found on Leo’s jacket (that Bobby planted for the cops to find last episode) wasn’t Laura’s because it was AB-. But oh hey! Jacques’ blood type is AB-. Coop then spots something on the ceiling fan: an issue of Flesh World. This is the same magazine where Ronette’s clipping came from.

They soon discover that two ads were placed in Flesh World (what a terrible, creepy porn magazine name). One belonged to Ronette, the other definitely to Laura. Despite not seeing her face, Coop is convinced it’s her. Not to mention, the red drapes in the background of the photo match the drapes of Jacques’ lodge in the woods. Time for an adventure!


Meanwhile, Shelly and Bobby are enjoying a life with Leo out of the house. Shelly’s making him breakfast, they’re playing with her new pistol, smooching and pretending to confront Leo. But as soon as they hear a car door outside, they freaaaaak. Thankfully, it’s just Deputy Andy. Bobby was expecting this, so he coached Shelly into dropping some vague, seemingly innocent hints that might connect both Leo and Jacques to Laura.

Our other blossoming couple, James and Donna, have a heart-to-heart. James suddenly confesses his entire life story to Donna. (Like, okay, dude, where did this come from?) His dad ran off. His mom’s an alcoholic. Basically, he is extremely tragic and brooding about the whole thing. But then they always try and tie it back to what happened to Laura. “If we don’t do everything we can to figure out what happened to Laura. It will never go away our whole lives. She’s out there wandering like a restless spirit.” How strangely accurate that is. Unless Coop’s dreams are just dreams?

The blossoming couple is turning into a blossoming three-way (bow chicka wow ow) with Maddy joining the secret Laura investigation club. James and Donna ask Maddy if she has any idea where Laura might have a secret hiding place. “The day before she died … I had a feeling that Laura was in trouble. I’ve always felt close to her, that’s why I came here. You know, I didn’t really know Laura that well but I feel like I do.”

Also, they all order sodas and have a plate of fries, but nothing is consumed. WHAT A WASTE, GUYS. Anyway, Hank, Norma’s hubby, is on the other side of the booth and hears everything.  Shelly and Norma come in as the trio is leaving. They got crazy updos, got their nails done, and are giggling happily. But the mood is ruined when Hank appears. Norma is SUPER STOKED to see him, obviously. He intends to “earn his way back to her heart.”

Coop, Harry, Hawk, and Doc go to investigate the cabin (I guess they don’t trust Andy after his gun firing mishap last episode), but this cabin happens to belong to the Log Lady.


‘Bout time you got here. They move so slowly when they’re not afraid. Come on then. My log does not judge… My log saw something. Something significant… My husband was a logging man. He met the devil. Fire is the devil hiding like a coward in the smoke… You can ask it now.”

“What did you see that night? The night Laura Palmer was killed.”

“I’ll do the talking. Dark…laughing…the owls were flying…many things were blocked..laughing…two men…two girls…flashlights passed by in the woods over the bridge…the owls were near. The dark was pressing in on her. Quiet then. Later footsteps. One man passed by. Screams…faraway…terrible…terrible. One voice…girl…farther up over the ridge. The owls were silent.”

So, if the Log Lady (or the Log, rather) is to be believed – and why shouldn’t she/it? – they’ve determined that in addition to the two men, who they’ve reasoned to be Leo and Jacques, there seems to have been a third man with Laura and Ronette that night. (This whole exchange from the Log Lady slapping Dale on the hand when he tries to get a cookie to the ominous tale of the night Laura was murdered, is just SO great.) After tea and cookies, the boys return to their investigation through the woods and hear music playing in the distance, which finally leads them to Jacques’ cabin. They find Waldo the Myna bird, a camera, blood, the red curtains, and several One-Eyed Jacks chips fall out of a cookoo clock, including the one with the “J” missing. Remember, the “J” of the chip was found in Laura’s stomach. Dun dun dun!

Ben Horne has a party at the Great Northern to celebrate the Icelanders in town. The Martells show up and even Leland Palmer. Audrey does her usual spying, only to find Catherine and her father having a relationship squabble. I like that Catherine very slowly and deliberately poured wine on Ben’s shoe to get his attention. Audrey laughs when Catherine slaps her dad…three times.

A certain record starts playing at the party and Leland freaks out, dancing just as weirdly as he did a few episodes ago. Ben tells Catherine to dance with him to make it less awkward for his guests. Catherine is the best and even mimics his movements of holding his head and crying. The Icelanders go with it, assuming it’s the dance style of America. Audrey watches Laura’s father breakdown and starts crying in the corner. :(

Cooper returns to his room, sensing a presence inside. He pulls out his gun only to find Audrey naked, crying, and sitting on his bed under the sheet.

“Don’t make me leave. Please.”

Other things:

  • Norma informs Ed that Hank got his parole and asks if he’s going to tell Nadine about their relationship. But he has a lame excuse that Nadine isn’t well. “That’s our trouble, Ed. We never want to hurt anyone. We never just take what we want.”
  • Briggs family counseling. Laura wanted to die, Bobby says. She made him sell drugs so she could take them.
    “She said … people try to be good but their really sick and rotten. Her most of all … and every time she tried to make the world a better place … something terrible came up inside her and pulled her back down into hell. Took her deeper and deeper into the blackest nightmare. Every time it got harder to go back up to the light.”
  • Ominous bird flying through the air at one point. As per usual.
  • Maddy calls Donna in the middle of the night and reports that she found a tape in Laura’s hiding place.
  • Pete Martell: “Now let me get this straight. Your entire country is above the timber line?”
  • Leo returns home, but then Hank is there to beat the shit out of him for taking over his business. When he comes back inside, Shelly tries to help Leo, but he pushes her down. So, she gets her gun out. “You stupid little slut, you haven’t got the guts.” But oh hey, maybe she does. BAM.



Stephanie Watches Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: 3×02 “Purpose in the Machine”


I’m still reeling from the final 10 minutes of this episode. But we’ll get to that.

A flashback to some old English dudes in a castle show us that the big rock has been around for quite a while. And that people have been trying to unlock its secrets just as long. Some poor schmuck draws the short straw (or the white rock) and is sent into it with a final “What if I don’t come back?” I’m assuming he never came back.

Back to present day, we’re right where the last episode left off. Bobbi and Coulson run to Mack and Daisy, telling them Fitz breached the monolith containment. They pull him back and close it off just before he’s about to get pulled inside. He realizes his emotions got the better of him, but he refuses to give up on Simmons. And then he feels some specks of sand on his finger. Ordinary sand, but sand definitely not of this world. Therefore, the monolith must be a portal, not just a death rock. Thanks to this new development, the team is unanimously on board to find her. Yay!


Ward is back! I still love Ward, get over it. He’s hot, terrible, and fun to watch. He’s gradually building HYDRA from the ground up. And from the looks of it, he’s been busy. He and his second-in-command track down some young, rich guy on a yacht. And that guy just happens to be the son of recently deceased Baron Von Strucker, one of the greatest HYDRA leaders of all time. Sidenote: I think Ward put a bunch of rats on that ship just so he could make an “exterminator” pun. I appreciate that dedication.

Ward kidnaps him and has his assistant dude torture him until Mini Von Strucker grows some balls and fights back. And that’s what Ward wanted all along. He shows him around his HYDRA base, complete with flashy logos. (Cue Coulson joking about too many logos and Bobbi reminding him of the giant SHIELD bird on the jet.)

The Mini Von Strucker seems super game to follow in his father’s footsteps and enlists in Blair Underwood’s (May’s ex hubby) psychology class. Likely in an attempt to get close to SHIELD in some way.

Also, Ward brought tacos again. #TacoTuesday


May’s introduction this season was probably the most shocking: cute little golf outfit!? Whaaaa? But we find out she’s just hanging with her pops who recently broke his hip–and also avoiding anything and everything to do with SHIELD. Fun side note: Ming-Na voiced Mulan and the guy playing her father voiced Chi Fu in Mulan. We get some nice May backstory. She loved ice skating as a little girl, had a Dorothy Hamill phase. Just like my homegirl Buffy! Must be an ass-kicking lady trend. But then Hunter shows up with a mission. He wants to track down Ward, go undercover, and kill the crap out of him.

May is trying desperately to have a normal life. But girl, we know. You can’t resist the allure to kill Ward. Nails in the foot and lots of punching just wasn’t enough. So, eventually, with some nudging from Papa May, she agrees.


Coulson, Fitz, and Bobbi track down the Asgardian professor from season 1. The guy who wanted the rage stick, if you recall. They break him out of jail — well, he breaks himself out — and take him to the monolith. After seeing the scroll Fitz retrieved, he remembers seeing the “death” symbol in an English castle many, many decades ago at a party. They trek out there, do some investigating and find a room with various mechanisms. Fitz reasons that this can control the monolith’s portal and they could send a camera through it to see if they could figure out where Simmons might be.


They call Mack and Daisy to bring the monolith to England. (Damn, these jets sure make life easier. I need one of those.) They install the monolith in the well and activate it. It instantly transforms the rock into a portal. Fitz tries to shine as many lights as he can into it (with some more brilliant, desperate acting moments that hurt me greatly), but can’t seem to get a good look. And uh-oh, now something is wrong with Daisy. She holds her head, blood starts trickling out of her nose, and she passes out. The mechanism breaks and the portal shuts off before Fitz can see anything. Coulson rushes to Daisy’s side, calling her Skye to try and wake her up. She slowly wakes up and corrects him with “Daisy.” Poor dad Coulson. You’ll get it soon. She explains that she heard a deafening frequency when the portal was activated and that she’s pretty sure she can control it to open it again. I wonder if she was so affected simply due to the nature of her powers or because of the monolith’s origin. Perhaps both.

Using her powers, Daisy activates the mechanism and open the portal. It seems as though only the camera was supposed to go into the portal (at least that’s what I assumed and, given the shock of the rest of the team, that assumption seems accurate), but Fitz jumps in. We’re on the same planet we last saw Simmons. And thanks to a flare and Fitz shouting, we hear Simmons call out, “Fitz!” And then in the most stressful few minutes ever, we’re flashing from Simmons and Fitz crawling to each other through the terrible, sandy conditions, and Daisy trying her damnedest to hold the portal open. When Coulson feels she’s had enough, he tells Mack to pull Fitz back. BUT HE HASN’T REACHED SIMMONS YET! AUGH. (Cue me squeezing a pillow and trying not to scream at the screen.) Their fingers touch and seem to hold onto one another, but they keep losing their grip. And then the force with which Daisy is holding open the portal is too much, even for the monolith, and it explodes. Daisy falls over again.

There are several tense seconds in which I wanted to explode before a head arises from the pile of shattered rocks. It’s Fitz. And a few moments later, Simmons. THEY’RE BACK. TOGETHER. Fitz hugs Simmons tight with the first smile I’ve seen on him in ages, and they all head back to base. And tears are streaming down my face.

You did good, Tremors.”

Tremors is a really cute nickname for Daisy. And also one of my favorite movies.

Anyway, we don’t know what happened to Simmons out there. But when she’s startled awake in the middle of the night, she’s ready to slay, holding a stake out. When she takes in the room, she realizes she’s back home. And back with Fitz. She crawls over to him and carefully rests her head on his leg. Whatever happened to her was obviously terrible and Fitz must be the person to help her through it. Elizabeth Henstridge has already said she’s got some major PTSD. So, that will be an interesting thing to unfold, considering Fitz felt as though she abandoned him when he needed her by his side to help him through his ordeal last season. I don’t think Fitz would hold a grudge that way, but I am interested to see how their relationship plays out now. I just hope Daisy isn’t too busy building her Inhuman team to spend time with them. I need some old team bonding soon.


Other things:

  • May: Simmons is alive. She’s back.
    Hunter: You serious? She’s alive? Fitz, you absolute beauty! Come on, beers? Let’s get the beers in then! Come on, May. Smile for once in your life.
  • Underwood denies another member to Daisy’s Inhuman team. Joey needs to learn more before he’s fit for the real world again.
  • “Let me guess. I’m struggling to come to terms with my physical limitations and losing my sense of self instead of redefining it.”
  • Mack/Daisy is a fun team, but I miss Trip. He probably would be on that team. ;_;
  • “Don’t die out there.” aka “Love you” for Bobbi/Hunter. :3 So cute.
  • Dad May: You remember the pain when you hit the ice. But I always remember how quickly you would get up.
    May: I was a kid then. It didn’t hurt as much.
    Dad May: My daughter always got back up.
  • “You certain about this? It does say ‘Death by Punishment’.”

Stephanie Watches Twin Peaks: 1×05 “The One-Armed Man”


Even the ones who laugh are sometimes caught without an answer: these creatures who introduce themselves but we swear we have met them somewhere before. Yes, look in the mirror. What do you see? Is it a dream, or a nightmare? Are we being introduced against our will? Are they mirrors? I can see the smoke. I can smell the fire. The battle is drawing nigh.”

If you missed the very terrible news, I’m sad to report that Catherine E. Coulson, our beloved Log Lady, passed away on September 28, 2015. I don’t know if she was able to reprise her role at all for the new Twin Peaks, but I know she was on board for it. She will be greatly missed!

We begin episode 5 with Sarah Palmer giving Sheriff Truman and Deputy Andy her description of Bob that she saw in her vision. Andy is a surprisingly good artist because he nails the depiction. Leland pops in and says some bizarre thing about the locket, then the police head back to the station, where Andy and Lucy are having some trouble in paradise.

“Lucy, why couldn’t I spend the night last night?”
“Will you be having coffee, Deputy BRENNAN?”

Uh oh! Meanwhile, Dr. Jacobi and Cooper are having a meeting. Jacobi is less than helpful. He doesn’t know anything it seems. Or maybe he’s full of shit, who knows! It’s hard to trust someone with two different shades of glasses. However, he does say that on the day after Laura’s murder, he followed someone with a red corvette. Guess who happens to own a red corvette? None other than terrible haired Leo!

Coop’s boss down at the FBI, Gordon, calls with some autopsy updates. Nothing much to report except that Laura Palmer had bird bite marks on her shoulder and the letter “J” from a chip embedded in her stomach. He also reports that douchey Albert is still trying to file charges against Harry.

“He had the patience of a saint not clocking him a day sooner!” Ain’t that the truth, Coop! That seems to settle it since Coop won’t corroborate the story. Harry shows Coop the drawing of Bob and Coop confirms that he saw the same man in his dreams.

“I didn’t go with you this morning because I didn’t want to influence her. I’m a strong sender.”

And a huge dork.

They get a call that Hawk found the One-Armed Man, Mr. Phillip Michael Gerard. He’s staying at the same hotel where Ben Horne and Catherine Martell are having their nooner. When they arrive at Mike’s door, Andy accidentally drops his gun and it goes off. Jeebus. During their rather pleasant interrogation, Mike tells them his friend Bob is a veterinarian and he’s been visiting him in the hospital, which is why he’s been creepin around the place. Seems plausible. Maybe.

Back at high school (oh yeah, high school is still happening!), Audrey tries to enlist Donna to help with Laura’s case, ideally to get closer to Coop. But she figured out that Laura was seeing Dr. Jacobi and that she might have been working at One Eyed Jacks. And that Laura and Ronette worked at the perfume counter at her dad’s department store. “I think about Laura being in a place like that and I get all shivery,” Audrey says. “But it’s like a hot cold, when you hold an ice cube on your bare skin for a long time.”

Coop, Andy, and Harry head to the veterinarian and get accosted by a llama, but find out that this Bob is not the same Bob they’re after once the secretary takes a look at the man in the sketch.


“Harry, in the heat of investigative pursuit, the shortest distance between two points is not necessarily a straight line.”

When they get back to the office, Andy tries to talk to Lucy again, but gets shut down. Coop takes him to the shooting range since he has never really used his gun in the line of duty, except for the accidental shooting.  “Andy, what we need is practice and lots of it.”

Then, they have boy talk about Lucy. Coop laments of his past love, which will we definitely be finding more about. “I knew someone once who helped me understand commitment, its responsibilities and its risks, who taught me about the pain of a broken heart.”

One woman can make you fly like the eagle, another can give you the strength of a lion. But only one in the cycle of life will fill your heart with wonder and the wisdom that you have known a singular joy. …I wrote that for my girlfriend.”

Damn, Hawk. Make me swoon.

In a creepy meeting in the woods, Ben Horne enlists Leo to burn down the mill for Catherine so they can collect the insurance money. Meanwhile, in another sector of the creepy woods, James and Donna search for Laura’s locket, but it’s gone. “Laura used to say her mother was kind of spooky, she used to see stuff, she’d have dreams. Laura did too.” And then an owl hoots. Of course.

Gordon calls back with an update on the autopsy. The bird bites on Laura’s shoulder were made by a myna bird. Andy (yes, Andy!) finds a file from the vet’s office with a myna bird named Waldo owned by, yes indeed, Jaques Renault. The pieces are coming together!

Gentlemen, when two separate events happen simultaneously pertaining to the same object of inquiry, we must always pay strict attention.”

They head out to bust Jacques, but Bobby is already there planting Leo’s bloody jacket that he got from Shelley. Shelly had told him earlier that it’s definitely Leo’s since he forces Shelly to sew his initials into the collar of all his clothes (Leo, you’re such a dweeb.) Bobby gets away in the nick of time and Coop finds the jacket. So, Bobby’s dumb plan was a surprising success. Coop is super stoked about these turn of events!

Other things:

  • Norma has to testify on her crappy husband’s behalf for him to get out on parole. She very much doesn’t want to, but is too good of a person.
    “You would live together as man and wife?”
    “Well, he’s my husband, isn’t he?” She is clearly thrilled.
  • Shelly shows off her new little pistol to Bobby, complete with new lingerie. I’m assuming some sexy sexyness followed.
  • James runs into Maddie at the Double R Diner and he’s immediately entranced since – obviously – she looks exactly like Laura Palmer.
  • Hank gets his parole. Bummer for Norma. (And Ed, too.)
  • Shelly: “I’ve got one man too many in my life and I’m married to him. …Leo doesn’t talk, he hits. He was so great at first, you know? This flashy guy in his hot car; sure beat sitting in some stupid classroom … we get married and I find out what he’s lookin’ for is a maid he doesn’t have to pay.” Norma: “Look at us. Two men apiece and we don’t know what to do with any of the four of ’em.” (I love this line, haha.)
  • Audrey  very innocently goes to her father, telling him she’s been thinking about the future. And to start, she wants to work at the department store. And she gets him with this classic guilt line: “Please let me be your daughter again.” Aw.
  • Josie gets a mysterious letter with the drawing of a domino. The same one Hank (Norma’s hubby) carries around with him. She then gets a call from Hank, who is putting his domino in his mouth and tell her that he will “catch you later.” What a creepo.

Stephanie Watches Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: 3×01 “Laws of Nature”


And we all rejoice as Agents of SHIELD returns to our televisions with a brand new season. As you may recall, last season ended with Skye becoming Daisy and taking on a new role with SHIELD, Coulson got his hand chopped off, the terrigen crystals were leaked into the ocean and found their way into Fish Oil supplements throughout the world, and finally, Simmons got sucked into the giant rock that the Inhumans were trying to secure and protect right before she and Fitz were going to go on a date.

This season brings us in with full force as a man, who had been taking Fish Oil, is unintentionally wreaking havoc upon Seattle. His touch seems to melt metal from up to three yards away. Things are crashing around him and soon a team arrives to take him in. But it’s definitely not our team. No, our team shows up just in the knick of time –as is their way— with Daisy leading the charge. She’s got some sweet gauntlets and a new battlesuit (courtesy of the awesome Ann Foley). And I maybe got a little emotional about this.

They retrieve the guy, who we learn is named Joey, and head back to base so that Daisy can explain what’s happening to him. The character progression seen in the girl we met as Skye is truly remarkable. She was terrified of what was happening to her, wanting nothing but to get rid of this new power. She was learning about who her family truly was. And learning the not-so-good qualities about them. And now she’s come to grips with who she is and fully embraced it. She’s even embraced her original name, Daisy, likely as an homage to the parents she fought so hard all her life to find. With her mother gone and father without his memories of her, it’s the only piece she has to hold onto them. But it’s going to take some getting used to. I’m with you there, Coulson.

Sidenote: I think Coulson is having a hard time calling her Daisy since she was his surrogate daughter for two years as Skye. And he probably feels that “Daisy” means she’s accepted her real parents and doesn’t need a placeholder anymore. But don’t worry, Coulson, you’re the real dad here! We all know.

Daisy wants to bring Lincoln back in to help with the Inhuman Orientation (as I like to call it) since he helped her learn to control her powers. Lincoln, however, is trying to live a normal life as a doctor and definitely doesn’t want to help them.

A new foe has emerged for the team, a woman who Coulson snapped a pic of who was clearly there to retrieve the newly Inhuman Joey. With Bobbi’s help, who seems to have taken the place of Simmons in the lab for the moment, they determine her location and Coulson and Hunter confront her. But the woman, Rosalind, was ready for them. (I’m still kind of wondering if Bobbi set this up? I don’t know, she is so full of secrets sometimes! She and Mack need to stop having hushed conversations that make me suspicious. Plus, last season doesn’t exactly help her case.)


But apparently the two of them aren’t the only ones killing Inhumans. As Daisy, Mack, and Lincoln quickly find out when a creature emerges in the hospital, clearly targeting both Daisy and Lincoln. Marvel nerds will recognize this creature as Inhuman Lash. Sidenote: the make-up/prosthetics for this guy are awesome. Maybe they brought Lash in because they missed porcupine-headed Raina. Heh.

Lincoln and Daisy battle Lash with their combined powers, but it’s no good. Eventually everyone escapes (including Coulson and Hunter), but Rosalind comes to the hospital to see Lincoln’s information. Uh oh, now she knows about him.

Meanwhile, Fitz is traveling the world trying to find clues to bring Simmons back. The Kree monolith (or big rock, as I like to call it) has been completely secured off from everyone at the base and Coulson mentions that Fitz won’t go near it. But he’s in Morocco, dealing with some unsavory fellows to chase down a lead. Fitz is another character who has come so insanely far. To start off with a brain injury last season and barely knowing how to form words or work with his hands to outsmarting and keeping his cool with these bad dudes. I am seriously impressed. So, yes, he outsmarts them and gets his clue.

But when he brings it back to the base, Coulson is there. It’s been a few months it seems since Simmons’s disappearance and everyone is arguably worried about Fitz dedicating all of his time to what they believe is now a hopeless cause. When Fitz opens the artifact, he sees it contains a scroll with one word written on it: Death. He concedes to Coulson in a heartbreaking scene that he needs to say goodbye, although we can see in his eyes that he refuses to do that. His mouth is saying it, but his heart won’t ever say goodbye.

He runs to the big rock and pounds on it, screaming and crying to do something to him. Because SHIELD likes to hurt me this way. Jeebus though, that was such an amazing and painful scene. All the awards to him now.

Thankfully, we learn that Simmons is alive, but not very well. It seems as though the rock transported her to a different world, one where it seems as though she’s being hunted and trying desperately to survive.

Other things:

  • Coulson has the axe with which Mack chopped his hand hanging in his office.
  • We got mentions of major events from Avengers: Age of Ultron and Ant Man. Hooray!
  • “Then, I need a bigger gun, I guess. Or my axe. Or maybe an axe-shotgun combination of some sort. Yeah, that could work.”
    I think that’s something Fitz could drum up in the lab.
  • Hunter is apparently going to HUNT down Ward.
  • “You love her?” “Yeah.” HE ADMITTED IT FINALLY. Arrrrghhh.
  • May is on vacation. Hopefully she’s getting massages and drinking cocktails in the REAL Tahiti.
  • I need some Fitz/Daisy bro times. The two need to share a beer soon.
  • I’m excited to see what Ward is up to! Probably badness, but I don’t care.

Stephanie Gets Kitty & Dino Tattoo


After this past C2E2, I was at Nick & Jess’s house and they showed me an art book by one of their favorite artists, Sara Richard. She has an illustration book called Kitty & Dino that tells a visual story of a kitty and a T-Rex growing up together and becoming BFFs who frolic through meadows and catch butterflies. When I looked through it, I fell in love with the art style and also the fact that it combined my two favorite creatures in such an adorable way. It felt strangely personal for me. I mean, I’ve loved dinosaurs since before Jurassic Park was even a thing and I’m pretty obsessed with my cat, Sookie.

I nursed the idea of getting one of the designs as a tattoo for a while. I got Sara’s permission (thank you!) and found a tattoo artist. My friend Dawn has a lot of gorgeous, colorful tattoos from Alex Gregory of Brass Knuckle Tattoo in Minneapolis. She has a knack for color and this design called for a lot of bright pinks and blues.

This past weekend, Brad and I trucked up to Minnesota and I got my tattoo on my inner left bicep. The only main change I had done to the original design was to make the cat look more like Sookie, so she’s grey with her bright green eyes.


The question I keep getting: did it hurt?

YES! Thankfully, it only took a little more than two hours because I’m not sure how much longer I would have lasted. I don’t have much muscle there, haha, so it was quite a tender area to get repeatedly stabbed with tiny needles. Missy likened the faces I was making to Gollum being tortured by orcs in Lord of the Rings. I basically should have been screaming, “SHIIIIRRREEE! BAGGGINNNSSSS!”

But it looks AMAZING. And it is so pretty and colorful. I love it. Whenever I’m feeling annoyed, I just look over and smile at the happy kitty and T-Rex. I’m super happy with it. This may have squelched some of my other tattoo ideas for a while since that was so painful, haha.

Anyhoo, I highly recommend checking out Sara Richard’s gorgeous art and going to Alex Gregory for any tattoos you’re thinking of because her art style is also awesome. It was definitely worth the trek!

Stephanie Plays Life is Strange (Eps 1-4) – Spoiler Free


What better time to share my thoughts on the first four episodes of Life is Strange than on our protagonist Max Caulfield’s birthday.

I’ve been dying to play this game for a while and kept hoping it would go on sale on Steam, but I gave up waiting and bought it on my PS3….just a few days ago. Needless to say, I devoured the four available episodes.

In the game, you’re Max (not Maxine!), an 18-year-old slightly awkward chick attending a very prestigious art school in the Pacific Northwest called Blackwell Academy, where you major in photography. Not only do you have to navigate communicating with the popular kids (SUP BRAH), you also attempt to solve the disappearance of a fellow student. Then you also end up reconnecting with your former best friend, now punk rock BFF Chloe, whose life you end up saving when you discover you have a new power that allows you to rewind time.

I’ve always been more about story than being the best at killing things in a game or having the best weapons/armor, so this game was right up my alley. The game guides you along, prompting you to complete tasks, such as searching for clues, dumping buckets of paint on the popular girl or chatting with specific people, along with making some pretty intense moral decisions that will have a huge impact on the rest of your game. It’s very similar to Telltale games in that way, but with barely any rapid action commands to stress you out. But the bonus? You get to rewind time! That’s right, if you do something and you’re not a fan of the outcome, you can just use your rewind power and do it all over again. And if you don’t like that, feel free to rewind and do the first option again! This power also allows you to score cool/smart points in conversations and use that info to do the conversations over again for better results. Something I’m sure we all we wish we had in high school.


The game is so insanely detailed from your text messages (NO EMOJI!) to all the items you can interact with. There are also a number of Twin Peaks and X-Files references throughout. Chloe’s truck’s license plate is TWNPKS. You can see “FIRE WALK WITH ME” on a bathroom mirror at the Two Whales Diner (which I am obviously likening to the Double R Diner in Twin Peaks). And it says “TRUST NO ONE” everywhere, so I assume Mulder wrote that. The whole small town atmosphere where everyone knows everybody’s business is very Twin Peaks-ey in general.

Without being spoilery, I will just say that this game really sucks you in. It might come off a bit off-putting at first with how stereotypical the teens seem to be, but then you get into it and start saying “hella” all over again. (I was, admittedly, already a voracious user of “hella” so that wasn’t bad for me.) Plus, the SHAKA BRAHS and DANK WEED YO end up being pretty hilarious. Just roll with it.

The story reminded me a lot of Veronica Mars season 3 since you’re trying to figure out why so many girls are experiencing being drugged and blacking out, not knowing what happened to them. Even Chloe, Max’s best friend, had this happen to her. But the real concern is the missing girl, Rachel, who took Max’s place as Chloe’s BFF until she disappeared. So, you navigate the perilous halls of high school to solve this mystery while rekindling your friendship with Chloe. And in the background is an impending apocalypse. NO BIGGIE. So, yeah, there’s a lot going on. But you get really attached to Max and Chloe. To the point where you’ll probably be rioting at the end of episode 3 and then crying a whole bunch throughout episode 4. THIS GAME IS VERY MEAN, but SO SO GOOD. I cannot emphasize how good it is.

So, please play it so I can talk to you about it. Also, take care of Lisa. But don’t over-water her.

The soundtrack is also so chill (and on Spotify!) that I’ve been listening to it over and over again since I started playing it. And also to comfort me until episode 5 comes out October 20.


Stephanie Goes to DragonCon 2015


DragonCon has come and gone once again! This was my second year attending and I was much better prepared for what to expect in regards to crowds and walking, but I still didn’t learn my lesson about how hot I would be, ha.

We began our DragonConvoy after getting to Indiana. Our road trip was full of musicals, walkie-talkie silliness, and then a 2.5 hour standstill right out side of Atlanta thanks to an accident. But it ended up being all right since we didn’t have to pay for parking Wednesday night since we got there around 1AM on Thursday. PS: THERE WERE NO GOATS.


Our group tried this highly recommended Mexican restaurant called the Bone Garden. It had some pretty sweet decor, delicious margaritas, and amazing burritos. Good thing I filled up then since I neglected to eat the rest of the day until midnight, oops! But after running around a bit, I got into my Cosima costume from Orphan Black. I struggled quite a lot to do the make-up since i neglected to practice, haha. But I got it! I even styled my Delphine’s hair (Jess), which is a funny image if you think about in-character. Then we met up with all the other sestras and had a really fun Orphan Black photoshoot. I was the only Cosima, so I felt pretty speshul. Then four of us (Sarah, Alison, Cosima and Helena) went to Pulse Loft and danced in our specific clone ways. It was very silly.


We had a super late dinner and happened to be feasting at the same place as a number of the Battlestar Galactica cast. It was hard not to ogle, but we made sure not to bother them. But there was Edward James Olmos (Papa Adama), Jamie Bamber (Baby Adama), and Michael Trucco (Tubsband).


This was SHIELD day. And my FitzSimmons (Nick & Missy) added another member of our team aka Jay as Cal. Skye finally had her daddy, haha. We did a photoshoot with a bunch of other SHIELD peeps and even recorded a dubsmash, as is the SHIELD way.

We then went to the Walk of Fame to talk to celebs. We chatted with Clare Kramer (Glory from Buffy), James Leary (Clem from Buffy), and Tricia Helfer (Six from BSG), and ended up meeting BJ Britt aka Trip from Agents of SHIELD. He was super sweet and loved our costumes. And he is super attractive in real life. *heart eyes* I could have talked to him all day, but it’s probably a good thing I didn’t because I am an awkward human. More SHIELD shenanigans happened until we decided to get into comfier clothes. I decided to keep my wig on and wear my Orphan Black Alison t-shirt and sort of cosplay Alison for the night while we ran around to see friends and navigate drunk peeps.



Parade day! That I thankfully did not participate in so I actually had time to get into my costume. I was an elfie inquisitor from Dragon Age Inquisition, so I made the Skyhold casual outfit (Skyhold Jammies!!!) and got to use my regular hair (because who cares when you’re the main character and can look however you want!) and elf ears. We went to the big ass photoshoot and Brad, as Iron Bull showed up in all his awesome glory. He is now Freddie Prinze Jr. approved too! Bull and I wandered around for food and he was just too popular to handle! Haha.


Nick and I met Amber Benson (Tara from Buffy) again. She remembered me from earlier this year since we are birthday twins and she gave me all the cupcakes, hahaha. But since finishing Buffy, Nick was dying to meet her, so he finally did and got his angelic photo with her. I also talked to BJ Britt again since his line was empty and hugged him a million more times. <3 Ahhhhhhh! Then we made our way to the MST3K guys and talked to Bill Corbett for awhile.

Nick and I are obsessed with Portlandia to an unhealthy degree. So, we had to cosplay from it and we chose Toni & Candace, the feminist book store owners. We looked perfect and hilarious and had a number of people recognize us. And being in character for that costume is the most fun. Especially teasing Dawn about her SUPER SCANDALOUS outfit. However, I was wearing a wool turtleneck, big sweater, and a long wig, so I was completely soaked in sweat. Super sexy. That was supposed to be my drunk night, but I had an entire bottle of wine and felt barely anything. I sweated it all out, lmao. But it was still a good time.



I decided to do Cosima again since I had such a great response to it. (Thanks, fangirls!) I ran around artist alley and met two of the Buffy comic artists. Georges Jeanty & Rebekah Isaacs. We also went to a super hilarious panel where the MST3K guys all chose a terrible movie to defend from the others. Prometheus, Glen or Glenda, and Anaconda were the chosen ones. Then, I went to meet Ksenia Solo, who plays Shay on Orphan Black. She greeted me by saying, Hello lovahhhhhh, told me she loved my costume, and then we took a couple pictures together. She is very tiny.


The rest of the evening/night was spent chilling with good friends, like finally getting some quality time with Grace, Adam, Charlie, etc. <3 None of us wanted to go to bed because it’s going to be several months before we see each other again, but 2AM came too soon!

And then it was back to Indiana on Monday for Mad Max, Olive Garden, and garlic knots on Tuesday.

And now here we are back in the real world. Coming soon: Costume posts for my new costumes! Yay!


Some of these photos were stolen from Kevin/Adam/Internets. :P

Stephanie Goes to Las Vegas

Last week, I went to Las Vegas for the first time ever for a fashion tradeshow called MAGIC. Yes, first time to Vegas AND sponsored by work. *insert praise hands emoji* I stayed at the Mirage, which was totally Beatles themed. At first I was overwhelmed by the fact that yeah, there really are slot machines everywhere. From the airport to just about every building you go into on the strip.

I got in early on Monday morning and decided to venture around outside. It was 110 degrees outside, but felt surprisingly pleasant compared to the gross humidity of the Midwest. I walked around and took a million dorky touristy photos until I decided to head to the Mandalay Bay Convention Center. Now, dummy me assumed you could just walk down the strip to the hotel. But no, two miles in Vegas is very different from two miles in Chicago. It would have taken me an hour to walk one mile because everything is so massive and spread out like crazy. So, I had to cab it just about everywhere. I ran around the trade show on Monday, and then changed for some of the parties I was going to. One was hosted by Belvedere Vodka, so I had quite a lot of delicious (FREE) cocktails and met some random people. The playlist was amazing and I was super disappointed none of my friends were around to jam out. But after a few cocktails, I didn’t mind partying it up with some very fashionable strangers.


After that party, I went to the Cosmopolitan to another MAGIC party. I had to go through more checkpoints to get to the club in the Marquee than I had to at the airport. I got my extremely tiny $14 cocktail and headed into the club, which was thumping with crazy club music. I was pretty sure I had fallen into an episode of Gossip Girl. It was so fancy with a crazy red, spinning disco ball, screens and strobe lights everywhere. And at one point, the dudes in front of me ordered bottle service that was served with SPARKLERS brought out by some hot ladies. After watching the silliness for a while, I called it a night.

Tuesday was all running around the trade show, having business meetings over delicious food and fighting my exhaustion. I had the most delicious $65 filet mignon at Stripsteak and the best Moscow Mule ever. Maybe it tasted so good because again, I was not paying, ha. But I was so full that I had to bail on the parties. (Plus, I had been up since 6AM and it was like 10PM—or midnight my time.) But once I’d successfully put on some yoga pants, I ran around the Mirage and attempted to gamble a little bit. I played the penny slots for a while, but when no one brought me a free drink for playing, I went to bed. I’M SO WILD, SOMEONE STOP ME.


Wednesday I decided that I would take the monorail to the Las Vegas Convention Center. This turned out to be the worst idea because I was so hot in my bizcaz clothes and the monorail, which I was told was just “across the street,” took about 20 minutes to get to from my hotel lobby. And then once I got to LVCC, I had to walk another 20 minutes from the exit. I regret my no cab decision there. But I wandered around WWDMAGIC. All I wanted to do was look through the Free People booth, but it was so insanely crowded. Womp womp. Not like I could have bought anything anyway. The crazy thing about MAGIC is that it’s all for retailers who are looking for pieces to put in their store, so there is very little shopping. Probably a good thing since I wouldn’t have had any way to bring it back. But I did enjoy the “JAPAN FUN TIME” booth, which had some Sailor Moon products, so I nerded out a bit.

Otherwise, I was trying to sit as much as humanly possible because my feet were just covered in blisters. SEXY I KNOW.

All in all, it was an interesting, fun trip. It’s strange to go to some place like Vegas by yourself for the first time. I would much prefer to go with friends next time obviously, mainly to sit around the pool for the daytime and then go partying at night. All this walking around made me too exhausted for the partying part! According to my fitness tracker, I clocked in about 22 miles during those 3 days.


Stephanie Watches Twin Peaks: 1×04 “Rest in Pain”


There is a sadness in this world, for we are ignorant of many things. Yes, we are ignorant of many beautiful things – things like the truth. So sadness, in our ignorance, is very real. The tears are real. What is this thing called a tear? There are even tiny ducts – tear ducts – to produce these tears should the sadness occur. Then the day when the sadness comes – then we ask: ‘Will this sadness which makes me cry – will this sadness that makes my heart cry out – will it ever end?’ The answer, of course, is yes. One day the sadness will end.”

This intro is very apt, given that the episode revolves around Laura’s funeral. And we see everyone dealing with it in their own, very unique, sometimes bizarre way. When we last left our hero, he was having a crazy dream, but he seems to be in a fabulous mood as he comes down for his breakfast and coffee. Young Audrey is waiting for him, wearing a fancy red dress and ready to pounce. She joins him for breakfast and discusses some of the case.  “We weren’t friends. But I understood her better than the rest.” She tells Coop that Laura worked at the department store her father owns at the–you guessed it–perfume counter. Coop then has her write her name down to compare it to the note slipped under his door that read “Jack with One Eye”. And, of course, it’s a match!

“Audrey, that slanted handwriting indicates a romantic nature. A heart that yearns.”

Audrey leaves when Harry and Lucy arrive, ready to find out who Laura Palmer’s killer is!

Harry, let me tell you about the dream I had last night…My dream is a code waiting to be broken. Break the code, solve the crime.”

He mentions the names Bob and Mike and Harry instantly jumps to Bobby and Mike–and now I feel stupid because I never made that connection before, ha. But that would be too obvious, right? Coop doesn’t think they have anything to do with it. But he presses them that they need to break the code. They soon get called to the morgue because FBI Agent Albert Douchenozzle is fighting with Doc Hayward about wanting to do an autopsy on Laura, even though her body is due to be buried that day.

Oh yeah, well I’ve had about enough of morons and half wits, dolts, dunces, dullards and dumbbells … and you, you chowder-head yokel, you blithering hayseed. You’ve had enough of me?”

AND THEN HARRY PUNCHES ALBERT AND IT’S THE BEST. This dude can’t get any dreamier.


Coop lets him run his tests until it’s time to move the body. Albert is not happy, but accepts this compromise.

Albert reports that, according to the toxicology report, Laura was doing cocaine. Her wrists and arms were bound with twine–Coop connects this with what the dream-Laura said: “Sometimes my arms bend back.” She also had claw marks on her neck and shoulders, indicative of a bird perhaps. Albert then grumbles about how he could have found out SO much more if he’d had more time with the body. Womp womp.

He then tries to get Coop to sign an official report about Harry assaulting him. Coop is pretty much like, Lol no. But he tell him, in clearer terms, what the Log Lady was trying to say in the beginning:

Albert, I hope you can hear me. I’ve only been in Twin Peaks a short time, but in that time, I have seen decency, honor, and dignity. Murder is not a faceless event here. It is not a statistic to be tallied up at the end of the day. Laura Palmer’s death has affected each and every man, woman and child because life has meaning here, every life. That’s a way of living I thought had vanished from the Earth, but it hasn’t, Albert, it’s right here in Twin Peaks.”

Leland Palmer gets a visitor in the form of his niece Madeline, Laura’s cousin, who looks EXACTLY like her, only with dark hair and glasses. She’s come in town for the funeral. Spoiler alert: It is the same actress. Guess they didn’t want to squander her by just playing a dead body all the time.

Laura’s funeral happens. Bobby looks bored. James shows up late. Coop watches everyone. Audrey is eye flirting with Coop. Everyone is generally sad. Johnny Horne shouts, AMEN. And then Bobby makes everything awkward and starts shouting and yelling at everyone. He’s actually right, though.

You damn hypocrites make me sick! Everybody knew she was in trouble, but we didn’t do anything. All you good people, you wanna know you killed Laura?! You did! We all did and pretty words aren’t going to bring her back, man, so save your prayers! She would’ve laughed at them anyway!”

James and Bobby then have a slow-mo fight. Leland sobs and dives onto the casket as it’s lowered to the ground. The casket just keeps moving up and down under his weight. Sarah Palmer has had just about enough of this shit.


After the funeral, Coop sits down at the Double R Diner with Big Ed, Harry, and Hawk. After Norma takes their order, Coop says, “Ed, how long have you been in love with Norma?” So perceptive, that one. Anyway, we then meet the Bookhouse Boys, a secret society that keeps order in Twin Peaks from generation to generation–or at least for the last 20 years. They currently consist of Big Ed, Harry, Hawk, and James (and probably some more guys we haven’t met/never will meet). When they go to their clubhouse, James has Jaques Renault’s brother tied up for interrogation. He came across the border with cocaine, but he doesn’t have much information. However, he did happen to leave Jaques a warning. When Jaques shows up for his shift at the roadhouse, he sees a flashing red light and runs away. A phonecall to Leo confirms the two are working together, at least in the drug trafficking.

Coop is watching Laura’s grave and sees Dr. Jacobi come by with a bouquet. He confesses that he was too afraid to come to the funeral and starts crying about how he hopes Laura will forgive him for everything.

At the post-funeral gathering, Leland is being a  dancing weirdo again. He is begging girls to dance with him as he sobs. Coop and Hawk intervene t0 stop the sheer awkwardness of the situation and take him home.

Other things:

  • “Good morning, Colonel Coop.”
    “Just Agent. Special Agent Cooper.”
  • “Nothing beats the taste sensation when maple syrup collides with ham.”
  • Coop and Harry go to interrogate Leo, who is chopping wood in his overalls. He says he was on the road during the time Laura was murdered.
  • “Diane, it’s 12:27 p.m. I’d like you to look into my pension plan options regarding real estate investment. I may look into purchasing a piece of property at what I assume will be a very reasonable price.”
  • Shelly is entertaining her customers with re-enacting Leland’s dive onto the casket.
  • “This must be where pies go when they die.”
  • Shelly comes home with a special present for herself in the form of a tiny gun.
  • Harry and Josie have a cute little date. Which ends with floor makeouts. Bow chicka wow ow. But she confesses to him that Catherine Martell & Ben Horne want to hurt her, take away the mill. Catherine is eavesdropping, dun dun dun.

Stephanie Watches Twin Peaks: 1×03 “Zen, Or the Skill to Catch a Killer”


Sometimes ideas, like men, jump up and say ‘hello’. They introduce themselves, these ideas, with words. Are they words? These ideas speak so strangely. All that we see in this world is based on someone’s ideas. Some ideas are destructive, some are constructive. Some ideas can arrive in the form of a dream. I can say it again: some ideas arrive in the form of a dream.”

We start the episode with an awkward family Horne dinner with complete silence. No music, no words, nothing. Just chewing. Until crazy Uncle Jerry comes back from his trip to Paris with a bunch of baguettes.

Ben Horne tells Jerry that the deal with the Norwegians fell through once everyone found out about Laura Palmer’s death. They packed up and left. But, oh hey, there’s a new girl at One Eyed Jacks. “New girl, freshly scented from the perfume counter,” Ben says. This seems like some crazy metaphor, but is actually literal.


Why is he eating a baguette starting in the middle!? YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG.
This is really bothering me the more I look at it.

The night with Donna and James continues from the previous episode. They’re about to get snuggly on her couch after the parents depart. Her dad is quick to say: “Are you coming to church with us in the morning, Donna? 9 o’clock sharp. You know, after you’ve spent your SINFUL night with James?” I added that last part for him. Once the parents are gone, Donna confesses that she’s always loved James. And now she can get on it because Laura is dead. Gotta find that silver lining!

We get to visit the glorious One Eyed Jacks, a casino and brothel (mainly a brothel, let’s be real), run by a lady named Blackie. It’s clear that Ben is quite close with Blackie, whether from a previous affair or because he’s a frequent customer. Probably both. But all the girls come out in their PlayBoy bunny-esque outfits. They meet the new girl–a blond. Hmm, did they perhaps lose a blond recently? HMM? Jerry wanted first crack at her, but loses the coin toss to Ben. There are not enough ways to explain how gross this whole thing is. Lordie, haha.

Back to my precious Coop who is not gross. He gets a call from Hawk, who reports that Ronette had recently quit her job at the perfume counter (see? perfume counter not a metaphor!) at the local department store. And he tells him about a one-armed man sniffing around the intensive care area. When the call ends, Coop finds a letter at his door. It reads: Jack with One Eye. And then he sniffs it because he’s actually a crime dog.

In the woods, he gets his crack team together: Harry, Hawk, Andy, and Lucy. Coop conducts a sort of test of fate that he apparently developed from a dream about Tibetan monks. (I love that the table is just FILLED with an unnecessary amount of donuts.) He has a blackboard with suspect names that have something to do with the letter “J” since Laura referred to a “J” in her diary. Harry reads the names off one-by-one and Coop throws a rock at a glass bottle that’s a specific distance away. He reads James Hurley, Josie Packard, Dr. Jacoby — this knocks the bottle over, but it does not break –, Johnny Horne, Norma Jennings, Shelly Johnson –this hits Andy in the head for some reason –, Jack with One Eye–this is erased once Coop finds out it’s a casino–, Leo Johnson–this rock shatters the glass finally. DUN DUN DUN!


Back in town, Audrey comes into the Double R Diner and puts her theme music on, which is conveniently located in the jukebox. Donna, who happens to be having her post-church breakfast with her parents (good, she didn’t stay up too late with Forehead McBroody), has a little chat with her about Laura. “There were things about Laura I didn’t like, but she did help take care of my brother Johnny. Guess I sorta loved her for that.”

Do you like coffee?”

“Sure, with cream and sugar.”

“Agent Cooper loooooves coffee.”

YEAH HE DOES. Is that an innuendo? Maybe. They both giggle, as do I.

Albert Rosenfield, number one douchebag from the FBI arrives. He just can’t deal with this small town charm. And he’s immediately a dick to my sometimes slow, precious Lucy, so I automatically hate him. “Albert’s lacking in some of the social niceties….” Ain’t that the truth, Coop.

Leland is not handling Laura’s death well. He puts on some overly cheerful and jaunty tunes on his record player and dances with her prom photo. While screaming. Sarah comes in to stop him from being such a crazy pants. But he retorts with, “We have to dance for Laura!” He and Sarah struggle over the picture but they accidentally shatter the frame. Sarah is like, EFF THIS. And screams a bunch and runs away. The Palmers are super good at screaming a lot.

And  now we come to one of the most important, amazing moments of the series. Coop has the first “Red Room” dream:


Flashing lights.  Sarah screaming out for Laura. The One-Armed Man:

Through the darkness of future past
The magician longs to see
One chants out between two worlds
Fire walk with me…

We lived among the people. I think you say, convenience store. We lived above it. I mean it like it is… like it sounds. I, too, have been touched by the devilish one. Tattoo on the left shoulder…Oh, but when I saw the face of God, I was changed. I took the entire arm off. My name is Mike. His name is BOB.”

“Mike? Mike? Can you hear me? Catch you with my death bag. You may think I’ve gone insane! But I promise…I will kill again.”

In the dream, Coop is sitting in a room surrounded by red curtains (David Lynch looooves his overbearing colors. Twin Peaks is all about red), black couches and chevron patterned floor. Coop is a much older man (25 years older, perhaps?) and sees Laura and a little man in the room with him. When they speak, it is in a strange, backwards way. Thankfully, there are subtitles.

Let’s rock! I’ve got good news. That gum you like is going to come back in style. She’s my cousin. But doesn’t she look almost exactly like Laura Palmer?”

“But it is Laura Palmer. Are you Laura Palmer?”

“I feel like I know her, but sometimes my arms bend back.”

“She’s filled with secrets. Where we’re from, the birds sing a pretty song and there’s always music in the air.”

Dance of the Dream Man song begins and he grooves while Laura goes to smooch Coop and whisper something in his ear.

Coop wakes with a start and calls Harry: “I know who killed Laura Palmer.” He insists that it can wait until morning and snaps his fingers to the dream song.

Are we really going to find out who killed Laura Palmer in episode 4? Stay tuned…

Other things:

  • Bobby/Mike are dealin’ drugs for Leo. They owe him $10,000, so that’s good.
  • Leo holds a flashlight under his face to be EXTRA intimidiating. I think it actually works.
  • Those woods are insanely creepy. Especially in Bobby vision as he runs through them.
  • Shelly is covered in bruises. :( Bobby vows to kill Leo if he ever hurts Shelly again. HE MEANS IT, DAMMIT.
  • The Norma/Ed theme music is precious. They’re so open about their relationship in public. It’s a wonder they don’t get caught.
  • Coop loves his coffee so much he spits it out. “DAMN GOOD COFFEE! And HOT!”
  • “Where there’s no sense, there’s no feeling, Andy!” – Harry being a cute little shit after Andy gets hit with the rock.
  • “God, I love this music. Isn’t it too dreamy?” -Audrey dances in the diner as everyone watches. Cool, we all want to feel super awkward, so thank you.
  • Thankfully, Ed, YOU BIG LUG, dripping his grease all over the DRAPE RUNNERS actually made them the silent drape runners Nadine always wanted. “We’re gonna be SO RICH!”
  • “I had a problem with my fish. Took a liking to my percolator…” Pete just can’t get over it.