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    Stephanie Watches The X-Files: “Home Again”

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    Given the title of the episode and the creepiness of the monster, I thought this might be a sequel to the ever-controversial episode “Home.” But, of course, I was mistaken. Not complaining because I don’t think any of us want to re-visit Home, except in a rewatch where we are extremely prepared.

    In the cold open, Lt. Gaeta from Battlestar Galactica is trying to move the homeless off the streets of downtown Philadelphia to a designated space in an old hospital. The homeless are not thrilled by this, especially when he sprays water on them to get them to leave. Upon returning to his office, the lights go out and a mysterious figure enters… and then literally rips him apart with its bare hands. Eep!

    His head is in the trash can.”
    “Not even in the proper recycling bin.”

    Enter my precious babes, Mulder and Scully, to investigate the murder. Scully notices the man was literally pulled apart rather than cut apart while Mulder spots a strange piece of graffiti across the street. Unfortunately, during the investigation, Scully gets a call from William — no, not that William, her brother William — that their mother had a heart attack and is in ICU in the hospital. A little bit in shock and unsure of what to do, Mulder tells her to go. That’s the push she needs as she tries not to have a panic attack as she heads to the hospital– and us along with her given the camera angle. Very stressful hearing her intense breathing so close!

    Scully gets to her mother at the hospital and is told that when she temporarily regained consciousness, she asked for Scully’s brother Charlie and no one else. Seeing her mother like that brings back obvious memories of her very long stint there herself, as she battled cancer and other ailments throughout the X-Files. We even get a very emotional flashback of Mulder by her bedside from very early on in their relationship, promising to bring her back and that he’s with her.

    Mom, I’m here. Will Jr.’s here. And William…. William’s here. And Charlie is here. Please, mom, don’t go home yet. I need you.”

    On Mulder’s way out of Gaeta’s office, he pulls a gross, dirty bandaid off his shoe. He continues the investigation, learning there’s a squabble between a woman who wants to keep the homeless where they are downtown versus the guy who wants to move them to the hospital. He also has the gross bandaid tested, but there’s no organic or inorganic material on it. So, perhaps a dead end?

    Some art collectors have taken the graffiti panel from the wall, hoping to sell it. But turns out the creature had embedded itself onto the panel. So, both dudes get all ripped apart. At least there’s a signature on the panel and it says “Trashman.”

    It seems as though this creature is targeting anyone who in a position of power on this or maybe anyone that gets in his way. So, unfortunately, the woman who opposes the homeless move is the next target. Seems there’s no winning this debate either way. Just whose side is this Trashman on?

    The cheerful “Downtown” song plays as the woman arrives home, checks her voicemail from her hubby, eats some vanilla pudding, and then all the lights go out. The song resumes as the Trashman arrives at her home, the lights go out, and he attacks her. But we get a good look at him in the lightning. Definitely doesn’t look human! Welp. At least he puts her pieces in the trash like a good Trashman…

    “I’m here.” Mulder comes to the hospital to be with Scully and update her on the case. But she can’t think about anything but her mother and that she asked for Charlie. Mulder probably hoped to be a distraction for her, but Scully doesn’t want to be distracted just now. They have to take her off life support, as requested in her mother’s will.

    I don’t care about the big questions right now, Mulder. I just want the chance to ask my mom a few little ones.”

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    Stephanie Watches Agent Carter: 2×04 “Smoke and Mirrors”

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    The sexual tension between Peggy and Wilkes is ridonk. And even more ridonk since he’s non-corporeal, so the two can’t resume their phone booth makeout. Unfortunately, Wilkes feels as though he’s slipping away. The zero matter seems to be pulling him away. But Peggy encourages him to hold on. As she tries to hold onto him.

    Peggy and Jarvis are on a stakeout and figure out that Chadwick’s driver must also be his bodyguard — given he sported the same wound she inflicted on the guy who attacked her in Howard’s backyard. And he (Hunt) also works at the Arena Club, which means he likely has access to all the secret info they couldn’t get. So, they devise a plan to kidnap him!

    What’re your feelings on committing a felony, Mr. Jarvis?”
    “In this case, decidedly for.”

    Meanwhile, Whitney is testing out her zero matter powers on a bunch of innocent rats. She sucks another one into her and her scar grows larger.

    Jarvis and his very ridiculous accent try to smoke out Hunt. Peggy has to stick him with two tranquilizer darts, but he’s still fighting in the trunk of the car. When Peggy knocks him out for good, Jarvis accidentally get stuck with a dart. And hilarity ensues.

    Mr. Jarvis, you all right?”
    “Jarvelous.”

    Sousa finds Peggy acting rather strangely and discovers Hunt kidnapped in her car. But instead of reporting her, he decides to help her out. He scolds her a little bit first, mainly because she didn’t include Sousa at first. She didn’t include him to protect him. They do a little bad cop/good cop on Hunt, trying to get some information out of him, namely Whitney Frost and Chadwick. With his lack of help, Peggy injects him with what he thinks is malaria. But if he refuses to talk, she won’t give him the antidote. Really, though, it’s just a bad cold. Good one, Pegs.

    After letting Hunt stew, they promise to protect him for any information he gives. “They’re in everything. And what they can’t buy, they destroy… I’m already dead.” Despite that, he gives them the information about a storage room in the Arena Club that has all the recordings of the meetings in the secret boardroom. Sousa and Peggy mobilize their team to invade the Arena Club, but their warrant is denied and the FBI stamps out the mission in favor of a routine audit. They really are in everything… Continue reading

    Stephanie Watches The X-Files: “Mulder & Scully Meet the Were-Monster”

    THE X-FILES:  Guest star Kumail Nanjiani in the "Mulder & Scully Meet the Were-monster" episode of THE X-FILES airing Monday, Feb. 1 (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX.  ©2016 Fox Broadcasting Co.  Cr:  Ed Araquel/FOX

    This episode was chock full of inside X-Files jokes and references and it just made me extremely happy. Even the cold open featured two stoner characters from early episodes “War of the Coprophages” and “Quagmire.” Good to know those two are still finding new and fun ways to get high and discover crazy things. Like some lizard creature in the woods that appears to have attacked the animal control guy (Kumail Nanjiani!!!!!) and ripped open the throat of another person. Oh no!

    Back at the FBI, Mulder is sitting behind his desk, looking rather defeated. He’s going through old, supposedly unsolved X-Files and discovering that each has a logical explanation. For each one, he throws a pencil at the iconic I Want to Believe poster. Scully walks in and complains, “Hey, that’s my poster!” I firmly believe she bought that to make their office look exactly the same and also secretly to re-inspire Mulder. Lucky for him, they have a new monster case.

    Three more victims are discovered at the scene, one missing clothes. But the stoners identified the killer as some sort of lizard beast with three eyes (or one eye, depending on the stoner). Mulder keeps rationalizing it as wolves or other normal animals, but Scully is taking Mulder’s usual stance of assuming monster. Or at least removing the animal element entirely. She is no stranger to the evil in the average man. “Uniqueness of the wounds implies a human element, Mulder.” He groans and says, “I gave up profiling long before I gave up monsters. You’ve seen one serial killer, you’ve seen them all.”

    Soon, a transgender woman is attacked by the creature, hitting it so hard that its “horn” put a hole through her purse. She does, however, confirm that it only had two eyes. They find Kumail, the animal catcher, looking spooked as he searches for a missing dog, but soon discovers the lizard man! The lizard-man attacks him and Mulder, who is trying to figure out his smartphone’s camera. He may as well have called it “newfangled.” All Mulder succeeds in capturing is a selfie-style video of blood being shot onto his face (which he claims the lizard-man shot from his eyeballs) and a photo of a man sitting on the toilet in a porta potty. But wait–didn’t the lizard guy just go in there? Hmmm.

    But this definitely brings up my previous points about how smartphones would affect the X-Files. Turns out, not much of a difference since Mulder can’t seem to get a clear picture. He did get a clear shot of some lizardy looking skin with a bite mark. But I wonder if, given the chance, he’d ever be able to get a picture of an alien…

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