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    Stephanie’s 8 Favorite Spoopy Movies

    spoopymovies

    Poltergeist (1982): This will forever remain my favorite scary movie of all time. I remember my mom didn’t want to show it to me when I was too young because I looked a lot like Carol Anne. It didn’t matter, I was still afraid I’d get sucked into the TV. Or that my closet would eat me in the middle of the night. I still get creeped out when I forget to turn the light off in the closet and close the door. I just love how this movie slowly builds on the creepiness through things moving about on their to complete and utter insanity. And just when you think the house is “clean,” shit gets even CRAZIER. It’s just so fun and creepy. It’s a must-watch movie for me every October.

    The Craft: How do I even begin to explain how much I love The Craft? I think it was one of the most formative movies of my pre-teen and teen years. I related to these girls, going to a co-ed Catholic high school and having a couple close girlfriends who I definitely tried “light as a feather, stiff as a board” with during sleepovers. (I think most girls did this, yes?) Thankfully, I also had a mom who enabled my obsession with this movie and took me to the local “New Age” store so we could get incense, candles, stones, books, etc. And even now, I think that movie has influenced my wardrobe, makeup, and jewelry choices. If you knew me in middle/high school, then you totally get it.

    ANYWAY, the movie is the ultimate girl power movie. To put it as simply as possible, four girls who have some subtle magic powers team up as friends and cast spells on the men that have wronged them. The spells aren’t hokey. Everything is based on real mythology and principles. And obviously, while the results are exaggerated, it feels real. It turns into a true horror movie for the last 15 minutes. The soundtrack is one of the best movie soundtracks ever, and I still listen to it regularly. There’s no movie like it and no movie that resonates so strongly with me still today.

    The Witch: “Wouldst thou like to live deliciously?” I like to call this movie my origin story. (It doesn’t help that one of my friends is convinced the main girl looks like me, ha!) This is a great psychological thriller that builds a quiet terror throughout an isolated family in 1630 New England — a few decades before the great witch panic of Salem. What happens when a witch in the woods steals a baby and terrorizes a family from afar by slowly driving them all insane? The teen girl is to blame, of course. There are some haunting images throughout this film and the final scene is… perfection.

    The Strangers: I have a fascination with home invasion movies and this one takes the cake. Why do so many people insist on living in remote places so far from civilization!? Sure, it’s peaceful but there are so many crazy, murdery people out there! This one is horrifying because it seems all too plausible. There’s no rhyme or reason for the violence done to the couple. It’s done simply “because you were home.” *shudder*

    10 Cloverfield Lane: What happens when you crash your car and you’re locked in an undergrounder bunker with a man who may or may not be an insane homicidal maniac? I love, love this movie. And I love Mary Elizabeth Winstead. If you can’t tell, I tend to love horror/creepy movies that aren’t blatant about it being a horror movie. We really don’t know what‘s going on in this one. Is there really an apocalypse happening outside? Or is this man just completely batshit crazy? Does he want to murder the others or does he just want some companionship? Go watch it because it’s so, so good.

    Alien: This is classic horror at its best. I hope you’ve seen it. If not, you need to correct that immediately. What’s better than Sigourney Weaver being the ultimate badass while looking super foxy. An alien slowly and gruesomely taking out a ragtag crew trapped on a spaceship. A cat, which survives the whole film. It’s perfect.

    Get Out: Jordan Peele (of Key & Peele) created one of the most harrowing horror movies of the modern era. It plays on the discomfort of white families attempting to welcome their daughter’s new black suitor. They overcompensate by talking about Obama and attempting to prove they’re not racist because of all their black friends! They seem awkward but well-intentioned. But as the family getaway progresses, things prove to be more and more alarming. It’s uncomfortable, gruesome, hilarious at times (because it’s written by Peele), and psychologically crazy.

    Cabin in the Woods: I couldn’t make this list without this one! It starts out just like every other horror movie: a group of horny 20-somethings heading to a cabin in the woods for a weekend of drinking and frivolity when suddenly they’re being axe-murdered by zombies. But… we soon learn this is all being orchestrated by a team behind the scenes with a slew of monster-movie tropes at their disposal. It all just depends on which horror the victims “select” in a dark basement full of creepy antiques. The cast is fantastic: Thor (before he was Thor), Fran Kranz from “Dollhouse,” Amy Acker, Jesse Williams, Bradley Whitford, Tom Lenk,  and, of course, Sigourney Weaver.

    Honorable Mentions Because I Couldn’t Decide and Love Spoopy Movies: Trick R Treat, Aliens, The Conjuring, The Ring, Ju On, Hausu, The Descent, It Follows, Paranormal Activity, The Blair Witch Project, The Babadook, Scream, Black Christmas (1974), The Others, The House of the Devil, The Fly, Eraserhead, The Birds, and many, many more!

    What are your favorite spoopy movies?

    Stephanie Watches Twin Peaks: Season 3 Part 18

    TP18_Whisper

    What is your name?

    DoppelCooper’s body is on fire in the Black Lodge. He’s gone for good. At least I assume so!

    With the gold pebble and Cooper’s hair, The One-Armed Man uses his e-lec-tricity to make a new Dougie tulpa. That innocent baby is back with us, and I couldn’t be happier! “Where am I!?” Gosh, he’s so cute and so excited to be alive again. He’s sent home to be with his family, just as Cooper promised. Janey-E and Sonny Jim embrace him back in their lives. “Home.” That’s one happy ending. But what about Laura’s?

    Cooper lost her in the woods in 1989 on the night she was supposed to die at BOB’s hands. Or was she taken from him?

    We revisit Cooper in the Black Lodge. And we’re plagued with the same question from The One-Armed Man: Is it future or is it past? They wander through the Black Lodge and visit The Arm. But it has a new question for Cooper:

    Is it the story of the little girl who lived down the lane? Is it?”

    You may recognize those words because Audrey said them. Was she speaking about Laura all this time? Why would she say words spoken by The Arm in the Lodge if she wasn’t also in the Lodge!? EH!?

    Speaking of Laura, she whispers in Cooper’s ear before doing her banshee shriek and floating away like in Part 2. Cooper continues his journey and finds Leland, who has the same message: Find Laura. The soft ringing noise leads Cooper farther into the Lodge. The curtains rustle and open for him. He emerges in the woods of Twin Peaks, where Diane is waiting for him. She did indeed see him at the curtain call. (Unless there is still another curtain call??? Anything is possible, y’all.)

    TP18_DianeCoop

    Cooper and Diane take a drive.

    FIRST: Let’s quickly flash back to the first scene of The Return where the Fireman was sitting opposite Cooper in the White Lodge. He told him: Listen to the sounds… [weird clicking noise that happened when Laura disappeared in part 17] It is in our house now. It all cannot be said aloud now. Remember 430. Richard and Linda. Two birds with one stone.

    And here we are. Cooper and Diane taking a 430-mile drive to a specific location. He gets out of the car and can feel and hear the electricity crackling all around him. Diane is visibly nervous.

    This is the place, all right. Kiss me. Once we cross, it could all be different.”

    They share a nice, passionate smooch and head into the e-lec-tricity. And suddenly, they’re driving down a long, dark road at night in utter silence. They arrive at a motel and while Cooper is getting a room, Diane sees herself standing a few yards ahead. She and her other self stare at each other until Cooper returns. Perhaps this is her old self that she’s leaving behind in this new world. I think at this point Cooper is still himself but I wonder if Diane is losing part of herself.

    This next scene is very… strange, especially when you add the “My Prayer” song on top of it. It’s the same song playing during the ‘Gotta light?’ scenes in part 8, so it already had a disturbing association. Before this, it didn’t seem as though Cooper and Diane had a sexual relationship but perhaps it was a long time coming. She mentioned they’d only kissed once before BOB raped her. She also mentioned that she remembered everything that happened to her. So, perhaps this was Cooper’s way of letting her reclaim some of her sexual agency after whatever BOB did to her using Cooper’s body. She is in complete control of this experience, even covering his face at times. Seeing his face might still be traumatic for her. Or maybe she’s losing her “Diane” self and covering his face because she has no idea who this man really is. Either way, I’m sure Lynch wanted to make us extremely uncomfortable during this part and he succeeded.

    The next morning, Cooper wakes up alone with a note left from Diane: “Dear Richard, When you read this, I’ll be gone. Please don’t try to find me. I don’t recognize you anymore. Whatever it was we had together is over. Linda.”

    Remember Richard and Linda. BOOM. So, we were foiled by Richard Horne and the random trailer park resident Linda all this time! Lynch, you rascal. Anyway, the car Cooper arrived in with Diane is not the same car he takes when he leaves. The one he takes is one of those all black FBI-type vehicles and he seems to already have the keys. Weird. Anyway, Diane may have lost herself and became Linda, but I don’t believe that Cooper has become Richard.

    Cooper drives through Odessa, Texas until he spots a diner: Eat at Judy’s. He stops there for a coffee and asks the waitress if another girl works there. Another girl does but she hasn’t been to work in three days. While he waits, some asshole cowboys harass the waitress and try to feel her up. Cooper defends her and the cowboys try to show off their manliness by threatening Cooper. But he’s about 100000% done with this world/dimension/town, so he shoots one guy in the foot, knees another in the balls, and the other puts his gun down. He puts all the guns in the deep fryer and gets the other waitress’s address before leaving. Shoutout to the old couple who were completely unbothered by the gunfire and kept eating their pancakes.

    I saw some people saying this seemed out of character for Cooper. That he seemed like a blank asshole and maybe he was becoming Richard. Or that he’d lost the “good” part of Cooper when Dougie was created. But I’d suggest you revisit the pilot. Cooper was very harsh and straight-to-business in the very first episode. He took no nonsense from anyone. It wasn’t until he got to know the Twin Peaks folks that he softened up a bit and showed off his goofy side. Plus, this Cooper has been through some shit. He’s trying to save Laura Palmer’s life, and he won’t let anyone stand in his way. That’s not to say this is the “right” Cooper. Something is definitely off. But I wouldn’t say this isn’t our Cooper. Continue reading

    Stephanie Watches Twin Peaks: Season 3 Part 17

    TP17_OGCrew

    The past dictates the future.

    SO MUCH IS GOING ON IN THIS EPISODE AND I EXPERIENCED EVERY EMOTION POSSIBLE. I was so stressed, excited, confused, concerned, elated, distraught, etc.

    Gordon, Albert, and Tammy are shaken from their encounter with Tulpa Diane. But Gordon’s not too shaken to make a dick joke: “You’ve gone soft in your old age.” “Not where it counts, buddy.”

    Anyway, on to the plot…

    For 25 years I’ve kept something from you, Albert. Before he disappeared, Major Briggs shared with me and Cooper his discovery of an entity. An extreme negative force called in olden times Jowday. Over time, it’s become Judy. Major Briggs, Cooper, and I put together a plan that could lead us to Judy. And then something happened to Major Briggs and something happened to Cooper. Phillip Jeffries, who doesn’t really exist anymore, at least not in the normal sense, told me a long time ago that he was onto this entity and then he disappeared. Now, the last thing Cooper told me was, ‘If I disappear like the others, do everything you can to find me. I’m trying to kill two birds with one stone.’ And now this thing of two Coopers. And recently, a paid informant named Ray Monroe sent a cryptic message indicating that the Cooper we met in prison is looking for coordinates. Coordinates from a certain Major Briggs. This plan, Albert, I couldn’t tell you about. And I’m sorry… I know you understand, Albert, yet I’m still sorry. And I don’t know if this plan is unfolding properly ’cause we should have heard by now from our dear Dale Cooper.”

    And just like that, the Vegas FBI calls — and Bushnell intervenes with his message from Cooper: “I am headed for Sheriff Truman’s. It is 2:53 and that adds up to a ten, the number of completion.”

    They realize now that Dougie is Cooper, getting all the information that Cooper has been through the last few days? weeks? month? Who knows. Either way: “Pack it up! I know where he’s going!”

    And just as a silly sidenote: Ben Horne gets a phone call from the Jackson Hole police in Wyoming. Jerry somehow made it all the way there. Just how much did he smoke!? “Says his binoculars killed somebody.” And the kicker: he’s naked for some reason. Oh, Jerry.

    BobCooper is following the real coordinates. He’s getting closer and closer to his destination  — and Naido in prison seems to sense this. The closer he gets, the more agitated she becomes. He heads to the woods where Bobby led Hawk, Andy, and Frank before. He enters the swirly portal and we see the familiar black and white theater room from part 8.

    TP17_Theater

    Major Briggs’s head is floating there, guarding the space. He alerts the Fireman when BOB shows up. BOB’s intended location was clearly Laura Palmer’s house. We know Sarah is there — and we know something fishy is happening there. We can assume now that Sarah Palmer has been harboring the entity Judy (since the beginning or only recently — perhaps she escaped from the Glass Box and found Sarah that way, who knows) and BOB was likely trying to get to her. That’s what Jeffries meant when he told BobCooper that he already knows Judy.

    But the Fireman, with Freddie and his powerful green glove at the Sheriff’s station, lays a trap for BOB. He changes the destination and transports him right in front of the station where Andy is waiting. Although not his intended destination since he likely wanted to team up with Judy for who-knows-what (something not good, I reckon), BOB sees the opportunity to wreak some havoc on Cooper’s oldest and dearest Twin Peaks friends. Andy brings him inside and everyone is overjoyed to see him. Giddy, even. But Andy has a strange feeling suddenly… He remembers part of his vision from the White Lodge. He even asks BobCooper if he wants a cup of coffee and he refuses — THE BIGGEST RED FLAG. Come on, guys!

    In the basement, Chad has built a cell key into the heel of his boot, so he unlocks his cell and arms himself. Andy, while trying to find Hawk to share the good news about Cooper returning, runs into Chad, who aims his gun at him. (I was flipping my shit at this point. Don’t you dare hurt my precious Andy!) Chad walks forward, unknowingly into Freddie’s perfect aim. He punches his cell open and knocks Chad out. Andy handcuffs Chad to a cell and brings James, Freddie, and Naido upstairs. Continue reading